Goldilocks Once Again Violates Restraining Order


The Three Bears family has reported that Goldilocks has once again violated her restraining order.

"We feel hunted," Papa Bear admitted. "A restraining order is only as effective as the criminal justice system that enforces it. Goldilocks' crimes are repeatedly dismissed as mischievous youthful hijinks."

He continued, "She'll keep breaking into our home, pawing through our belongings, and destroying our chairs because there's never been any ramifications. Lack of law enforcement emboldens her--entrenches her sense of entitlement."

"Whereas we've worked hard and foraged for every last thing we have," Mama Bear interjected. "We clawed our way out of the forest to give Baby Bear a better life. We didn't want him to live in a den and shit in the woods like we had to."

"If the situation were reversed and Baby Bear invaded the home of a pretty blonde family, what do you think would happen? He would be hit with a tranq-dart and put behind zoo bars or worse--do you think animal control would have a split-second's hesitation to put him down?"

Papa Bear nodded in agreement, "And think of the media's polar-opposite depiction of us--our family is illustrated as dark, threatening figures while Goldilocks is drawn as cherubic and dainty. When bears rummage through a dumpster or ruin a picnic, we're depicted as 'predators'. When the harassment is reversed, it's 'teenaged antics'--"

Baby Bear's tiny voice chimed in, "I would have shared my porridge if she had just asked." Papa Bear picked up the cub to comfort him.

Mama Bear went on as Papa Bear was too visibly moved to do so, "We just want to live in peace and raise our family. Goldilocks is a menace. We don't know how much longer we can bear it. This whole ordeal is making us grizzly."

Image: Childhood's Favorites and Fairy Stories, The Young Folks Treasury, Volume 1. Edited by William Byron Forbush (1868-1927), Edward Everett Hale (1822-1909), Hamilton Wright Mabie (1846-1916), Public domain via Wikimedia commons.