COMEDY

Can You Guess The GOP Candidate By Their Morally Superior Pointing Finger?

They're better than you, and their fingers let you know it ...

It's not really a secret which of the two political parties is the one most likely to lecture us all about moral values. I'll give you a hint, it starts with an R and it rhymes with 'epublicans.

And that lecture often comes in the form of a finger point, usually aimed at our faces or genitals, because that's where the sin comes out.

See if you can identify which Republican presidential candidate is actively judging your lifestyle choices simply by their pointing finger.

(Answer key at the bottom. Not that you need it. You got this.)

1.

<strong><span>"When Bill [Clinton] says he didn't have sex with that woman, he did. When [Hillary Clinton] tells us: 'Trust m
"When Bill [Clinton] says he didn't have sex with that woman, he did. When [Hillary Clinton] tells us: 'Trust me, you have all the emails you need,' we haven't even scratched the surface."

2. 

<strong><span>&ldquo;Biblically, the poor are always going to be with us in some form or fashion."</span></strong>
“Biblically, the poor are always going to be with us in some form or fashion."

3. 

<strong><span>"The church has gotten it wrong a few times on science, and I think that we probably are better off leaving sci
"The church has gotten it wrong a few times on science, and I think that we probably are better off leaving science to the scientists and focusing on what we're really good at, which is theology and morality."

4. 

<strong><span>"We've gotten so used to saying we have a smart man as president. But I'm beginning to wonder if that's really
"We've gotten so used to saying we have a smart man as president. But I'm beginning to wonder if that's really true."

5. 

<strong><span>Ultrasounds are "a cool thing."</span></strong>
Ultrasounds are "a cool thing."

6. 

<strong><span>"I don't think it's the role of government to dictate to the private sector [requiring paid maternity leave]."<
"I don't think it's the role of government to dictate to the private sector [requiring paid maternity leave]."

7. 

<strong><span>"[Obama] has made decisions that I think have inflamed racial tensions, that have divided us rather than bringi
"[Obama] has made decisions that I think have inflamed racial tensions, that have divided us rather than bringing us together."

8. 

<strong><span>&ldquo;I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.&rdquo;</span></strong>
“I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.”

9. 

<span><strong><span>"The government can't change the weather."</span></strong></span>
"The government can't change the weather."

10. 

<strong><span>"People need to work longer hours and, through their productivity, gain more income for their families."</span>
"People need to work longer hours and, through their productivity, gain more income for their families."

11. 

<strong><span>"You know Obamacare is really I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery."</span></
"You know Obamacare is really I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery."

12.

<strong><span>"I will crack down and not permit [legalized marijuana]."</span></strong>
"I will crack down and not permit [legalized marijuana]."

 

How'd you do? Here's the key!

 

 

Did you figure it out, while feeling sufficiently out-moraled by these values-driven fingers? Hooray, that means you're a well-read, informed American! Even if you're a terrible person in their eyes!

 

 

Sources: 

 

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