One of the determining factors in our capacity to experience joy and happiness in life is our ability to be grateful.
The old adage: “It’s not happy people who are thankful ― it’s thankful people who are happy” is actually backed up by scientific research.
What’s more, gratitude is something that can be cultivated.
Studies
In a 2005 study (1), Drs. Seligman, Steen, and Peterson conducted an experiment in which subjects participated in a gratitude visit. Each subject wrote and delivered a letter to someone who had been especially good to them but who had never been thanked.
Amazingly, those who participated in the exercise reported increased happiness levels that lasted for one month after the letter.
Gratitude Journal
In 2003, Drs. Emmons and McCullough studied the impact of keeping gratitude journals on a weekly basis.
Those who recorded things for which they were grateful felt better both physically and emotionally and had a more positive outlook on life. In addition to a twenty-five percent increase in happiness levels, journal keepers also accomplished more and exercised more.
By doing something as simple as counting our blessings, and being grateful for them, it is possible to increase our experience of happiness significantly.
When we remind ourselves that even in the darkest of times beautiful things, large and small, happen each day, then we restore and maintain our mental and emotional balance.
In recognizing the many positive things there are in life, we cultivate an authentic gratitude for all that is right with existence.
A gratitude journal in which you list positive experiences or aspects of your life can be helpful in remembering the best parts of your day, and when you do this, your happiness quota increases.
If you have food to eat and a place to live, celebrate these things. When you manage to catch an earlier bus, train or flight, when you discover a great book, see a really good movie or see a rainbow, when the bakery has your favorite pastry, record these happy things with a word of thanks for the positive aspects.
These things really are gifts; make sure you take the time ― and have the awareness ― to appreciate them.
Key People
Why not go further with this exercise by exploring your past and identifying key people in your development?
Perhaps it was the friend who took the time to listen and empathize when you were going through a particularly difficult time. Maybe it was a teacher who inspired you, or who went out of his or her way to help you. Or maybe it was a family member or someone else who stood up for you at a critical time.
Remember these people and experiences with gratitude for the ways they have helped and shaped you.
Thank You Note
You might even want to write thank you notes to some of these people. Whether you send them is up to you. Expressing gratitude in writing can help you to better understand their roles in your life and to appreciate all those people and events that have brought you to the place you are.
Be grateful even for the difficult lessons. Everything and everyone from your past has had an influence on who you are now. Though you may have experienced unfairness, and perhaps been treated unkindly, there are lessons that have been learned from such painful experiences. And remember that, like everyone else, you are a work in progress.
When we accept these gifts with a grateful heart, we learn to appreciate all that we have been given and are reminded of how good life really is. These are important keys that fit neatly into the locks and open the doors to happiness.
Moving forward, do your best to say thank you to the people who are currently in your life ― your family and friends.
Be gracious to the person at the checkout counter of your local supermarket and to the person who bags your groceries. Acknowledge your waiter and remember to say a kind word or two to lighten their day. Express appreciation for the work being done on your behalf.
Thank friends when they are supportive and when they are honest. Thank your boss for being a mentor. Thank your partner for all the small, routine, insignificant things that he or she does for you and with you.
Develop a habit of saying thank you ― and make sure it’s sincere.
Gratitude For Who You Are
And here is a very important point: Remember to express gratitude for the person that you are.
Be thankful for your gifts and skills ― the unique blend of talents that you bring to the world. Be grateful for your body, in all of its marvelous complexity. Be grateful for your sexuality. All of these things make you the unique individual that you are. Embrace them, and be grateful for the ways they have shaped your life.
All we have is this moment. Breathe deeply and be grateful in all things. It really will improve your happiness level, guaranteed.
Gratitude turns what we have into enough, which helps to teach us another important lesson ― contentment.
A Happy Life
A happy life is not about our stuff, our status or, despite our longings, even about our relationships. Contentment brings a level of happiness that grasping and straining never can.
What you have and who you are ― they are enough for now. As you learn more, you may be able to do more, so continue to strive to better yourself and to work on developing as a complete person.
Continue to press on, be mindfully grateful for what was and what is as you move forward, and you will see and share in life’s riches.
”In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.”
~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer
References:
Seligman, M. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive Psychology Progress. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410-421.
Peter Field is a UK registered psychotherapist and USA board certified hypnotherapist. His hypnotherapy Birmingham and London clinics provide hypno-psychotherapy services for a wide range of issues. Peter’s hypnotherapy book, ‘The Chi of Change’ topped the Amazon best-seller lists in both the US and the UK shortly after its release. His extensive range of self-hypnosis downloads are also available.