Grief and Letting Go: Accepting What Is to Regain Peace of Mind

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The following post is adapted from DEATH AND LETTING GO (Montague Press) by Ellen Tadd.

When my daughter Laura was ten years old, a dog she loved named Adam died unexpectedly. She became extremely upset, grieving and crying about him, and had difficulty accepting his death. A few weeks later Laura had an out-of-body experience in which she visited with Adam.

This occurred at a time when we were riding in the car and were both extremely tired. I put on some soothing music and suggested to Laura that she lie down in the back of the car for a rest. After a twenty-minute period, she sat up and explained that something wonderful had happened. She had left her body and gone into the spiritual realm to talk with her friend, Adam the dog.

During the out-of-body experience, Laura was able to communicate with Adam telepathically. He told her not to be unhappy that he had left his body, and that her emotional turmoil was making it difficult for him. He said that if she really wanted to help him, what she should do was to send him her love and light, because that would support him on his new journey.

Adam also spoke to Laura in thought about her future, saying, "The reason I've come and talked with you is so that when someone closer to you dies, you will know what to do." Laura's emotional reaction to Adam's death dramatically changed after this experience. I knew her story was genuine. She even contacted Adam's owners to tell them of her experience and to inform them that Adam's self-image in the spirit world was groomed and not shaggy.

Very soon after this experience, my brother's wife gave birth to a baby boy. He was born with a terminal disease and only lived for eight weeks. During a hospital visit, Laura held her dying cousin. As Adam had advised, she focused on sending the baby love and light to ease his way out of the physical form.

Culturally, we have been taught that it is appropriate to feel grief-stricken and unhappy when someone dies. However, my guides teach that when there is a death, it is best to send thoughts of encouragement for continued growth and celebration for the liberation from the limitations of physical existence. It is not easy to make the shift to a new way of looking at death. Our conditioning is deep, and the concepts of letting go and trusting the natural cycles of life are not prevalent in our culture. However, what are now considered normal reactions to death will change, for human nature is evolving as individuals incorporate greater spiritual awareness into their daily lives.

With clairvoyant ability to see the spirit body, any doubt about the continuation of an individual after death is eliminated. I experienced this comfort when our dog Mittens died. He was part Collie, part St. Bernard, and part Golden Retriever, though sometimes he appeared more like a she-lion.

When following a neighbor across a major highway, Mittens was struck by a car and killed instantly. I reacted with shock and grief. However, it wasn't long before I noticed him in spiritual form, on the front porch in his favorite spot. He was still with us and I could see him. I couldn't hug him or feel his fur. Our relationship was changed, but I discovered that the love between us still existed. By focusing on our spiritual bond, I experienced contentment and appreciation for our time together and was able to let him go.

When those left behind in the material world accept death as another stage of personal development, then focus can be placed on sending well wishes and love to the person or animal who has died. After death, individuals are often ready to let go and enter into the next realm of illumination and learning, but they may be held back due to concern for anguished and frightened loved ones. A supportive release helps to alleviate the feelings of trauma, fear, or guilt which often contribute to keeping the individual newly-arrived in the spiritual dimensions from going on into light and expansion.

My guides have described grief as an inability to accept what is. Grief is often experienced in waves, with periods of acceptance interspersed with periods of resistance. Gradually acceptance deepens, and peace of mind can be regained. With an understanding of how grief affects the individual who has died, our focus should be placed on acceptance, in order to work through mourning as quickly as possible.

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