If being part of a group chat feels like a chore to you, you’re hardly alone.
According to one recent survey, 42% of Americans say group messaging threads sometimes feel like a part-time job. And more than half of respondents said they’ve had to leave one because it got out of hand.
Between the constant messages, rude members and irrelevant chatter, these chains can easily become a nuisance, distracting you from the more important and enjoyable parts of your daily life. We asked our readers why they decided to leave a group chat. Below, they share their stories.
Incessant And Inane Updates
“I have been involved in group texts, and I absolutely hate them. I tell all my friends and co-workers to not include me in group texts, but they always do. What drives me away is people’s constant need to share everything all day long. Sharing picture after picture of food and radio songs playing in their car, mundane, everyday things. I’d much rather chat on the phone on my way home from work and hear all about your day than involve myself in all that.
So how do I exit these text groups? I just up and leave. No warning, no goodbye. I’m out! And then when asked why I left, I simply say, ‘I asked not to be there in the first place and y’all are just too much.’
As far as I know, no one is talking behind my back, but if they do, would it bother me? Nope.” — Holly O.
“What made me leave is one particular person thinking she’s the authority on every single subject anyone brings up. Someone hurt their neck? She is a doctor. Someone is planting flowers? A botanist. I just can’t stand the diatribes she gets on. I swear, she googled whatever the topic is and regurgitates it word for word. Copy and paste. Drives me crazy.” — Melissa L.
Cruel Comments And Negative Energy
“When I leave, it’s always because the group chat has devolved into rude, off-topic name-calling. If people cannot chat and disagree respectfully, the group chat has lost its way. Sadly, it just gets worse, so I leave. Sometimes, common sense is nonexistent. I do not announce that I am leaving. Nobody cares, and if they do, they’ll notice my absence.” — Jody F.
“I noticed little signs that told me I was never really welcomed into the group. Like they’d plan things without including some members (which is fine) but then give away vague hints in the group chat, almost as if they want us to know that we are being left out.
And simple things like how the group chat members would wish each other happy birthday. The more popular members receive wishes with lots of exclamation marks and heart emojis, [and] then us less popular members only get short ones like ‘hbd (name).’
The last straw: Subtle bullying, other members egging on the bully to attack certain members. After a while, it felt like, ‘Why bother adding me to this group?’ Did not announce I was leaving — I just left.” — Elaine S.
Messages Coming In At All Hours
“Years ago, at one job, they insisted a group chat would be helpful [for] work productivity. I was vehemently against the chat because I found them to not only be disruptive but redundant, since often what was spoken about was said in person. But people either forgot or didn’t want to pay attention.
Over time, the group chat became unrelated to work, and I just left. What I didn’t know was if I left, there would be a notification. Apparently, this one guy playing assistant manager didn’t like this, but I also didn’t care. I had a talk to my boss about it and I didn’t have to return to the constant interruption of pure nonsense.
Today, I firmly believe whatever you need to tell me that’s work-related happens on work time. If I’m [salaried], different story. But if I’m hourly, talk to me on business hours, not before, not after, and not on my weekends — absolutely not. Unless I’m an on-call doctor or nurse or the police, there’s no reason whatever you have to say to me can’t wait till the next business day.” — Cindy M.
Too Many Members
“I leave if the group gets too big and it starts blowing up my phone with comments that mean nothing to me. Since it’s not the airport, departure announcements are not necessary. So I just exit the group. Zero fanfare.” — Jennifer J.
Didn’t Ask To Be Part Of It In The First Place
“I never asked to be invited. Felt like an intrusion. I didn’t like that.” — Sharon P.
“I left a group chat about our town’s twinning association. Someone started ranting about ‘X song has been banned! What next: x or x or x? You can’t say anything anymore!’ and on and on, all completely irrelevant. ‘Lynne has left the group.’” — Lynne J.
They’re A Waste Of Time
“I leave them immediately as a rule. No explanation, no hair flip, just leave. Life is too short to read 35 other people’s emoji responses.” — Kimberly P.
Responses have been lightly edited and condensed for style and clarity.