What do "the naughtiness factor" and "guilt" have to do with exciting, hot sex?
It's hard to imagine guilt as an an aphrodisiac, but haven't you ever heard of the term "guilty pleasures?"
We are all brought up with social norms, and taught in various ways through our communities that some things are naughty, bad, and could bring about the withdrawal of approval. And when we get close to those edges, we can feel anxiety and perhaps fear. Now, guilt can be an important conscience builder as it reminds us of the rules and even expectations of the communities that we live in.
Guilt can keep us "in line," and take over our lives and convince us that we are "bad people" and stop us from living our lives fully. Guilt is a tricky number.
But guilt can be an aphrodisiac, too. Some of the best sex is so good exactly because we are so bad! So if the sign says "Do Not Enter" and we go into the sealed-off space and have a little nooky -- the guilt of breaking the rules can make the experience even more intense.
Sneaking off in the middle of the day from work to meet up for sex, texting sexy during business meetings, and spending money on our own eroticism all can be guilty pleasures. Creating time to self-pleasure when you should be doing "something more important", taking off to attend a workshop about sexuality when you should be spending the money on that new dishwasher, or indulging in the truly forbidden -- emotional or physical affairs -- all are more erotically intense because they are tied to "we shouldn't be doing this".
Even reading erotic books and not wanting to be caught can be a very hot guilty pleasure!
There is nothing like the risk of being "found out", or being with someone that you should not be with or doing something that you have been taught is wrong to turn up the flame during sex.
Booze never tasted so good as during Prohibition.
So where are your guilty pleasures? Where is your "I shouldn't be doing this now or ever" list? Could you? Would you? Might you? Why not?
Sometimes, guilt can be a showstopper when it's all you can think about -- but guilt can also be a that perfect spice when added in just the right moments.