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The Fast Food Items Not Even Gwyneth Paltrow Can Resist

"Best enjoyed with reckless abandon."

got fomo @fuckjerry? 🍕😉 #tbt #slicewithmyhomeslice

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So your jade vagina egg is all packed up and you’re ready to head out on a summer vacation. Unfortunately, nothing can prepare you for the decidedly un-Goopy fast food options typically found in airports and rest stops.

Naturally, none other than $200 smoothie enthusiast Gwyneth Paltrow is here to help. Goop’s “Fast Food Guide” maps out the healthiest available options from popular fast food chains. The list suggests wrapping your McDonald’s “grilled chicken burger” in lettuce (for the record, there is nothing called a “grilled chicken burger” on the McDonald’s menu ― we can only assume Goop staffers aren’t McD’s frequenters and mean “grilled chicken sandwich”). They also suggest you remove the bread from Subway sandwiches to turn them into salads (womp). But there are a few items not even Gwynnie and her staff at Goop can say no to.

KFC, Arby’s, Dunkin’ Donuts and Dairy Queen round out the list’s “Just Order the Fries ...” section. The list includes lighter options for these restaurants, but admits some things, like biscuits from KFC and doughnuts from Dunkin’ Donuts, are “hard to pass up.”

Our favorite item on the list has got to be curly fries from Arby’s, which Goop claims are “best enjoyed with reckless abandon.”

We’ll dunk a curly fry into some organic, low-sugar ketchup to that.

Head to Goop to see the entire list.