Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Is Selling Literal 'Vampire Repellent' Now

But it's not what you're thinking.
Gwyneth Paltrow is selling something you need for the negative people in your life. 
Gwyneth Paltrow is selling something you need for the negative people in your life. 

Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle site Goop recommends everything from jade eggs for your vagina to $200 moon dust smoothies, so the site’s latest suggestion should come as no surprise.

The controversial brand’s online shop is currently selling $30 “Psychic Vampire Repellent” from Paper Crane Apothecary. Goop also carries two other products from the retailer, including “Chill Child” kid-calming mist and a “Clean Slate” mist so you can start fresh.

The vampire repellent’s name is troll-worthy, but the description of the spray is actually quite fun.

“Is there a person in your life who seems to drain the life right out of you, yet you just can’t seem to get them out of your mind?” the explanation reads. “You, my friend, are dealing with a Psychic Vampire! Spray this mist around your aura to evict them from your head and create a shield that they will not be able to penetrate.”


We’ve all had some negative people in our lives we need to banish, but it’s unclear how an expensive spray will help ward those people off. Especially a product that says it’s made of love (love is listed first in the ingredients), reiki (an energy healing technique), sonically tuned reverse osmosis water and charged crystal chips.

The psychic spray also includes special elixirs of “ruby, black tourmaline, aqua aura, pyrite, fluorite, ametrine, garnet, bloodstone, tiger’s eye, labradorite, nuummite and clear quartz” if you’re into gems and “deeply aromatic therapeutic oils, reported to banish bad vibes.”

Though the effects of gem and crystal healing are controversial and widely regarded as pseudoscience by medical professionals, certain essential oils, like lavender, are thought to help reduce anxiety and stress.

Luckily, it seems Goop is in on the psychic vampire repellent joke. Business Insider reached out to the company about the product and a spokesperson told them it was “meant to be a tongue-in-cheek product.”

“We carried another product from the line and we received feedback from customers that they wanted us to carry more products from Paper Crane Apothecary, which is a small, independent purveyor,” the spokesperson told BI.

Bad vibes, begone!