Halloween Costumes For Women 2013: Ideas Far Better Than 'Sexy Nurse'

"Teen Maid to Tease." "Sexy Miss Santa." "Red Hot Mama." "Ooh La Lola." "Pilgrims Pleasure."

No, these are not the names of roles for a cheaply produced porno -- they're actual Halloween costumes ladies are supposed to buy. Welcome to October, everyone, the month where outfits better suited to bedroom role-playing appear in every pop-up costume store in the country.

It can be difficult to sift through all the "sexy" nurse/maid/pirate/crayon/M&M or any other inanimate object getups to find a Halloween costume that you can actually get excited to wear come October 31. Last year we compiled a list of creative costume ideas. This year, we're doing the same, because women deserve better than Sexy Bert and Ernie. (And spoiler alert: Costumes can be both flattering AND clever!)

Here are some women's Halloween costume ideas that won't make you want to give up on the holiday altogether:

Women's Halloween Costumes That Are More Clever Than 'Sexy Nurse'