Had a few too many Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans? Drank your weight in butterbeer? Fret not about your bowels, young wizard, because bathrooms used to be for muggles only. Relieve yourself on the spot, like the good old days!
To celebrate National Trivia Day on Friday, Pottermore, the official portal for all things Harry Potter on the internet, shared an unwelcome factoid about how the magically inclined relieved themselves.
The information raises some troubling questions. Did wizards drop trou in public, or did they wear specifically designed excrement-proof clothing? Were the sewers installed before muggle-born students matriculated at Hogwarts? Or were those first trailblazers looking for a chamber pot to throw up in after witnessing their headmasters soil themselves in the Great Hall?
While the trivia wasn’t entirely new for the some dedicated Potterheads, the news that history’s greatest witches and wizards were casually defecating in public only to swish and flick the evidence away caught many by surprise.
Rowling wrote that bathrooms were installed at Hogwarts before the 18th century. They were featured prominently in the books series, be it Moaning Myrtle’s entrance in The Chamber of Secrets or Harry’s sojourn to the prefect’s bathroom in Goblet of Fire.
And while Rowling seems keen on expanding the “Harry Potter” universe to oblivion, let’s hope she never does too deep of a dive ― at least onscreen ― into wizard poop magic.