Have You Heard? Designing Your Vision for Love Is Your Best Bet to Finding Your Heart's Desire


I'm always curious about people who say they'll know when the person they're looking for in love shows up. Beyond this, they're not able to articulate the essential qualities or what life with this person would look like. Perhaps this is why they keep going on first dates and fewer second and third dates.

Designing a vision of what you want in your life is the first step to manifesting what it is you desire whether it's in work, a home, a vacation or retirement.

But, do you know how to design your vision for love?

Consider a vision board as a tool that many use to help clarify, concentrate and maintain focus on a specific life goal.

If someone asked you to find a potential partner for him or her, who would you be able to find most easily? It would be the potential partner defined most clearly and with specific attributes, of course, which a vision board will capture.

Take time to reflect on what your ideal partner looks like.

Many of the things you need can't be put on an online dating profile, for example, because they're hard to measure. It will be so much easier after you've had three dates to glean whether the person has the essential qualities you need in a partner.

Don't get caught up in a generating a checklist.

Designing a vision gives you clarity on the essential (must have) qualities that you need and important (nice to have) qualities that you want in a partner.

Note the difference between need and want. Need is linked to your essential qualities, which are tied to your values, whereas want is linked to your nice to have qualities.

Here are three steps to designing your vision for love:


1. Go through your list of good friends' husbands who you hold in high regard, as well as, men you know who have the qualities you admire. Is he a good listener, honest, gentle? It will be his character qualities like kind and compassionate that your vision should include. Surface traits like being a good dancer or height requirements of 6' to 6'3" are just that - surface traits and not relevant to finding your most aligned partner.

2. Include your nonnegotiables. What won't you tolerate? You know, the critical stuff like lying, cheating, smoking versus being shorter than you or balding.

3. It's important to keep in mind that the qualities you seek may not show up in the way you would expect. For example, if being generous is a quality that's essential to you, it may be that the person doesn't have a lot of money to give, but, his currency is service to others. In other words, be open to how generosity reveals itself in the person's life and, in the example, his generosity is that he gives in service to others.

Writing down what matters to you takes courage. Lots of people are afraid to ask for what they want in life.

If you don't draw your vision for what you want, how will you fulfill your heart's desire?

Lastly, you have to believe that the person who aligns with your vision and meets your essential qualities is out there.

Having faith and being an active participant in finding him is paramount to manifesting your vision for love.

When will you design your vision for love?