To give this post some context, I've spent a good part of this past week sitting on the couch with two babies on my lap, closely snuggled (aka, sandwiched) by an additional three kids. Of the five, four are sick with an influenza bug. Over the course of each day my shirt has functioned a giant, glorified Kleenex, and every few minutes, when one of them coughs, I am showered with a warm, aerosol like spray of germs. Sound familiar?
That being said, none of them are in any real danger, and after a recent, terrifying health scare, that is a huge relief. As I sat there today, surrounded by these lovable disease carriers of mine, I couldn't help but think there had to be a better way to be sick. The following are some of the ideas I came up with.
Having Sick Kids Would Be Fun If...
1. ...McDonald's had a "Well Child" and a "Sick Child" play place. Hey, if my pediatrician's office can separate the two, why can't the second largest food chain in America? I mean come on, that would be big business. We can't take them to school, church or daycare. Just add Children's Motrin and Tylenol to the menu and you're good to go!
2. ...Our doctor's office had an escalator. My son can not get enough of the moving stairs. All that going up and back down again is super magical apparently. Between that and the free lollipop at the end of the visit, I'd be turning down teary eyed petitions to go to the doctor every day.
3. ...I was just starting the Hunger Games Trilogy for the first time. There should be a disclaimer on the front of that first book warning the readers that starting those books late in the day can lead to a severe lack of sleep, loss of focus and a marked indifference to the outside work until you've reached the end. Hey, if you have to sit on the couch and watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates all day, you may as well be reading a great book.
4. ...We owned a Japanese-style air hockey table. Prepare your brackets! I feel a tournament coming on. The low height of the Japanese style table will allow sick children to comfortably recline on their pillows during play, and the required movement of only one arm is great for the low energy child.
5. ...The first four seasons of Downtown Abbey came to Netflix. If there were ever a time for binge watching, this is it. Sure my sink is overflowing with dirty dishes and we can't open the door to the laundry room, but my baby won't let me set her down anyway. I may as well be enjoying myself while I snuggle her soft cuteness.
6. ...I didn't get sick of UNO and Candyland after the first two hours. You know you can relate. Where did this sudden attention span come from? They can stare at the Peppermint Forest for hours, but they can't listen to me finish a sentence? I'm just not buying it.
7. ...I was back in my college days when all-nighters were cool. I grew up in a fairly strict home with an early curfew. We considered ourselves lucky if we saw the clock strike 11:00 p.m. on New Year's Eve. Then I left home for college. I remember the first time a guy tried to get me to stay up all night just for the fun of it. He offered to cook me breakfast if I could make it. Now I pull all-nighters on a semi-regular basis -- not by choice -- and then I'm the one who has to cook breakfast. Life is so unfair.
8. ...We played a drinking game. No, I'm not really going to get them drunk. In fact, there is no alcohol involved. I mean a child friendly game of, "Whenever someone coughs, we all have to down a shot of Apple Juice." Hey, we have to keep all those feverish kids hydrated somehow.
9. ...We all had water guns filled with disinfectant spray, (tear-free of course.) Is there ever a bad time for a water fight, really? You know it sounds fun.
10. ...We played "snotty tissue basketball." Now there is a sport that could catch on. You'll need to start with the right equipment, a high quality tissue with the right thickness and absorbency. Then, get the perfect blow of the nose to fill that puppy up. Carefully wad, and then shoot for the trash can. We'll keep score on daddy's white board. The winner claims ownership of the remote control for the next hour.
Okay, having sick kids is anything but fun, but they say, "Laughter is the best medicine," so hopefully reading this made you giggle, and have a happy, flu free day.