29 Things I Am, And One Thing I Most Certainly Am Not

A waste? No. I don't think so.
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Mother and two children (1-6) shopping in supermarket
Mother and two children (1-6) shopping in supermarket

By Gesyka for DivorcedMoms.com

My neighbor passively hits on me when we see each other. He is probably the only other single person on my street and makes the repeated joke, "Ya, I was on mattress.com -- um, I mean match.com" and he thinks it's funny every time. Nice enough guy. He has every tool anyone would ever need and is happy to share should anyone ask.

Last week, after my 3-year-old played in my car (he loves pretending he is driving and loves my minivan, so I let him) he left the lights on and my battery died. I went over to my neighbor's house and asked for a jump. He had a portable charging station and after getting my car started, told me to charge it over night so I kept it. Two days later, he stopped by to get it back and as he walked up to my house, he hollered, "Hey! It's What a Waste!" Confused. Still smiling, I asked him to clarify.

"Well," he said, "You're good looking and yet you never date. What a waste!" Our conversation continued as I tried to ignore being called a waste. I tried to discern whether it was a compliment or an insult. As I talked with him and explained my understanding of something that most women don't generally get (can't remember if it was cars, construction or something similar) he said again, "See! You are so smart! What a waste!" Still unsure about the term of endearment (??) I thanked him for his help. I apologized that he had to come by to get it and that I hadn't returned it sooner and that was that. Except it wasn't.

Since that encounter, I have been troubled by it. I'm not sure why I haven't been able to let it go. I have decided that even if he meant well, it was an insult. It is not as though I am an athlete who just tested positive for steroids. I am not a celebrity who was found dead in a hotel bathroom overdosed on heroin.

I am a mother.

I am a breadwinner.

I am a woman.

I am a caretaker.

I am a provider.

I am an advocate.

I am a nurse.

I am a taxi driver.

I am a chef.

I am a baker.

I am a singer.

I am a dancer.

I am a hostess.

I am a housekeeper.

I am a groundskeeper.

I am a handy woman.

I am a teacher.

I am a banker.

I am a playmate.

I am a seamstress.

I am the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Clause.

I am a clown.

I am a prison warden (of timeouts.)

I am a therapist.

I am a party planner.

I am a private investigator (of lost blankets everywhere.)

I am a jungle gym.

I am a mom.

A waste? I am a single mom of four kids with a job. Two of my children I have full time. The other two I have half time but yet I keep making exceptions to accommodate their unemployed father to take multiple vacations each year. I don't get one penny of child support and yet, I own my own home. I pay my bills. I have had the same job for the last nine years. I still manage to give my kids everything that they need and some of what they want. My children are provided for, loved, encouraged, supported and I give 110% of what I have for them. I know that I need to make time for myself. I am still working on that.

But, no. I don't have time for dating. No, I won't waste my effort or time for a man who can only focus on himself. No, I won't waste my time on another narcissist aside from the one I left behind. No, I don't see my time well spent getting to know another guy who will not be able to provide for me, emotionally, spiritually or financially. I have my priorities and they are as straight as an arrow.

Please know, I get that my life, my children, everything is the bed that I made and I am willing to lie in it. In fact most days, I love lying in it. I am so lucky and blessed to have all that I do. I am grateful for my job, my healthy children, my home, my family, and support. I don't see anything in my life as a waste.

I am truly sorry that my life doesn't suit your desires but that's why it's my life, not yours and it most certainly doesn't make me a waste of anything. My time and effort couldn't be more well placed.

A waste? No. I don't think so.

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