I received a gift that not many other children get -- I got the chance to watch my mom fall in love with her person, her other half.
I didn’t get the normal life of watching my parents do cute things together every day (please don’t feel sorry when reading that, I just realized it sounds super depressing but it’s really not like that). But they were still my parents living together under one roof, with their two little girls – and that one day came to an end.
I remember it perfectly and it was devastating. I was fighting with my boyfriend at the time when my Dad knocked on my door and told me we had to have a “family talk.” Like any bratty 16-year-old, I yelled “Dad go away!” But this time was different. He didn’t walk away and we had our family talk.
I stormed downstairs and didn’t even sit down because I was antsy to continue my ridiculously pointless fight and wanted this talk to be over.
As my mom stood there with a couple of tears dropping down her face, she said the words “your Dad and I are getting a divorce. He’s going to be moving out.”
In that moment, I thought my life was over. This was it. I no longer had the perfect family that all lived together under one roof. I was now going to have to split my holidays, write down two addresses, and no longer have the same last name as my mom.
I know my Mom’s old love story and that her and my Dad did in fact love each other but they eventually grew apart and were better off separate.
The time had to come where my Mom would begin dating and I would have to meet her boyfriends. But I got lucky. My mom immediately met her other half and he was the only one I had to meet and let me tell you, we got lucky.
So then, I learned my Mom’s new love story.
I watched her go on her first date with Steve: I watched her anxiously pick out clothes when she was going to see him or watch her eyes light up when his name popped up on her phone. The way she would run up to him with a huge smile on her face when she hadn’t seen him in a while. I watched all the steps happen, I watched her fall in love.
I watched her start her new life with him. We moved out of my childhood home and into a house where my new normal would now include living with my mom’s boyfriend.
I watched her say the words “yes” when he got down on one knee and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him.
I watched her cry when they fought. But weirdly, it didn’t make me sad when they would have arguments because I knew it was always going to be okay. He would come home the day after with a bouquet of flowers and an apology that melted my heart. I think it was always okay because at the end of the day, nothing can break them apart.
I watched all of my mom’s dreams come true, right in front of my eyes.
People ask me a lot how I dealt with my parents’ divorce and how I feel about my step-dad and all that, but this is how I dealt with it. I watched my mom change for the better. I watched her happiness multiple by a thousand.
So, parents out there who may be going through a divorce or may not have the other parent to help them raise their child and are so worried about how your children will feel: they will be okay. They will have a different kind of perfect life. Maybe they will even get the gift I had and let me tell you, it is one amazing gift.
And to children out there who haven’t had this gift happen to them and still feel broken: you will become whole again. The random break downs and the heavy heart will fade and become lighter and you’ll find a new kind of happiness with your family.
Life is too short to not be happy, remember that. XX