I'm on a mission to help women see the truth about their dating reality. So many women tell me about time they've wasted on the wrong guys. They have a difficult time knowing when to cut a guy loose and move on or when to give a man the benefit of the doubt.
There is nothing more frustrating in the world of dating than a guy who seems really interested, but then also maybe not…but then yes…but no again. I’ve been there, and I know most of you have, too.
One of the many things I love about men is their direct communication style and action orientation. In other words, their actions tell you exactly where you stand.
When a guy really likes you, it’s obvious. So too when a guy doesn’t like you. The uncertainty usually runs rampant if a guy seems to fall somewhere in between. Trusting your intuition goes a long way.
Here are three signs that he’s not playing hard to get, he’s just not interested:
1. He doesn’t call, text or do anything with you.
If you’re dating a man and he’s into you you don’t have to get his attention by initiating phone calls, emails or texts. You don’t have to do all that because he’s going to pursue YOU. He’s going to try to date you. He’s going to show you he’s interested. His friends will know your name. If he’s not interested, he’s not going to show you he’s interested.
It sounds so obvious. Where you may not be seeing this is the guy who’ll text you, ask you out and then disappears for another three weeks; reappears only to start texting again. But, then he disappears again. He’s not interested. He’s just using you as a filler. Be the smart, savvy woman you are and make sure you don’t fall into this trap.
2. He doesn’t reveal things about himself.
When we share information about ourselves with someone, we are investing in them. We are inviting them into our world because we see the potential for them to become a part of it. When a guy sees no such potential, he’ll offer up the bare minimum. You’ll get the basics: where he’s from, where he went to school, how he got into such and such line of work….all the things you can just as easily find out on social media.
If a guy is into you, he will open up and will peel back that outer layer. He might not necessarily bring out all the skeletons in his closet to play, but he will share information that is more real. There is a big difference between knowing about someone and knowing someone.
3. He waits too long to set up the next date.
If you go out with a guy and he makes no indication of ever wanting to see you again, or he waits a few days to call (it’s one thing to do this after the first date, quite another to keep doing it after the second, third, or fourth), it means he’s on the fence about you and isn’t really feeling it. Why does he continue asking you out? Probably because he has no one else on the horizon and… why not? If you’re accepting crumbs, that’s what he’ll give.
If a guy is into you, he’ll make it known that he wants another date. And in between dates he’ll stay in touch, he’ll keep you in the loop, he’ll reach out just to say hi or send you something silly. Because when you like someone, you think about them a lot, and when you think about them, you want to reach out to them.
Determine his interest based on his effort to SEE you. His actions are the only thing that really matter. If a guy isn’t pursuing YOU, stop fooling yourself and move on, girl!