Hey, Facebook, Yes, I'm Talking To You 2


Hey, Facebook, Yes, I'm Talking To You 2

1. Hey, Facebook, finally, finally you said I might know someone and I do. I don't like them, but I actually know them. Congratulations.

2. Hey, Facebook, thanks for thinking I might be friends with Carly Simon. I bet you think that song is about me. Don't you. Don't you?

3. Hey, Facebook, thanks for the Jaguar ads. Your faith in my ability to afford one, although misguided, warms my heart.

4. Hey, Facebook, I am not going to redo my yard with draught friendly plants - I rent!

5. Hey, Facebook, I do not believe that there is a simple way to lose belly fat.

6. Hey, Facebook, I don't give a shit about 'Constipation Clinical Trials.'

7. Hey, Facebook, thanks for the 'Learn to flip houses' ads, but I'm thinking, for most of us, a more productive ad would be 'Learn to flip burgers.'

8. Hey, Facebook algorithm department, I put up a few Caetlyn Jenner posts and I get ads for hormone replacement. Well played.

9. Hey, Facebook, stop asking me if I'm friends with Joey Fatone. Even Justin Timberlake won't admit to that, why should I?

10. Hey, Facebook, this suggested ad includes you: 'Toxic Relationships: How To Recognize And Handle Them.'

11. Hey, Facebook, thanks for the reminders to events I'm not going to, by people I do not know, in places I've never heard of.