Dental appointments tend to bring out great fear and anxiety, even for adults. Fortunately, they also provide a real opportunity for humor.
We’ve rounded up 45 hilarious tweets about the many facets of going to the dentist ― from flossing problems to drilling woes to nose hair musings.
I have a dentist appointment first thing tomorrow morning.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 20, 2017
If you need me, I'll be cramming six months worth of flossing into one night.
My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) August 8, 2013
Invention idea: A dentist drill that sounds like a lovely, melodious harp.— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) January 5, 2017
DENTAL HYGIENIST: your teeth and gums are moments from death. Quit your job so you can floss 16 times an hour. I hate you!— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) October 23, 2018
DENTIST: looks good!
I don't make dentist appointments, I make nitrous oxide appointments.— ShotofCherye (@CheryeDavis) February 6, 2014
Every time my dentist is kind enough to tell me I need to floss, I am kind enough to tell him that he needs to trim his nostril hairs.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 26, 2014
Dentist: ok open up— paperwash© (@PaperWash) June 4, 2015
"Well I guess it all started when my dad left..."
Dentist: no I mean-
Assistant: wait bill...let him finish
Going to the dentist is a great way to remind yourself what a coward you are.— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) February 14, 2012
I get the same feeling at the dentist that I get when a cop car is behind me; I haven't done anything wrong, but I feel incredibly guilty.— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) September 30, 2014
To sound important, when my dentist books my appointment 6 months away and asks, "Does 10am work?", I say,"Ugh, busy. How about 2?".— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) February 28, 2013
When my kids assure me they will clean up their mess, I know how my dentist must feel when I assure him I will floss.— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) June 19, 2017
The day you have a dentist appointment really makes you appreciate all the other days you didn't have a dentist appointment.— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) October 26, 2015
Dentist numbed my mouth this morning. Turns out I'd rather dribble coffee all over my chest than wait 1 more hour to drink coffee.— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) January 10, 2015
MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED— Sarah Lyons (@sarbeaaaar) January 3, 2017
*tries to quietly unwrap a tootsie roll during a dental cleaning*— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 4, 2017
Dentist: (cleaning my teeth) Do you floss every day?— Carbosly (@Carbosly) July 18, 2018
Me: (gargling on blood) Yes, why?
[dentist chair]— ann (@omically) February 25, 2015
*I start talking, dentist notices his hand isn't in my mouth*
*puts hand in my mouth*
my dentist hates when i call him a face gynecologist— kim new years (@KimmyMonte) August 20, 2018
Dentist: I'm going to take your tooth out— AnOnion (@onion_an) June 10, 2015
Me: Ok then
[later that evening]
Dentist: Well this is nice
My tooth: I'm having a lovely time
[at dentist]— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) July 13, 2015
"Are you remembering to floss?"
Oh ya, Dr, totally.
"Cuz it looks like-"
I REMEMBER, I JUST DON'T DO IT.
Flossing the day of a dentist appointment feels a lot like cramming for a history test you didn't study for but with more blood.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 31, 2015
I'm glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.— ShotofCherye (@CheryeDavis) January 14, 2014
Dentist: *asks me a complex question about my life*— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 3, 2016
Dentist: *shoves his hand inside my mouth*
I've never been caught cheating on a test, but I did just run into my dentist at the mall while eating cotton candy.— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) December 7, 2017
Dentist: Do you grind your teeth?— A Very TheAlexNevil Christmas (@TheAlexNevil) October 19, 2017
Me: Yes, I have a child.
Me: what should I do?— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 8, 2017
Dentist: stop eating sugar, drinking coffee and wine, cut back on stress..
Me: right but like realistically
[At Dentist]— ☃️❄️🎄Tim🎄❄️☃️ (@Playing_Dad) October 23, 2017
Dentist: When was the last time you flossed?
Me: When was my last appointment?
Dentist: 8 months ago
Me: 8 months & one day ago
Schedule your dentist appointment early in the month so you can do the hidden picture in the Highlights magazine before some kid ruins it.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 4, 2017
My dentist gives you a cookie at the end of each visit. A delicious, sugar-filled, cavity causing cookie. I see how this works now.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 19, 2018
Why are dentist offices always playing home improvement shows on their tvs? Do they just want the sound of drills to be filling the air?— Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart) December 27, 2017
Someday, I'd like to meet my dentist's kids. My teeth paid for their college. I'm part of the family, really.— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 12, 2015
dentist: now you're gonna feel a little pinch— strongest living baby (@hippieswordfish) March 1, 2015
little kid: okay
*dentist pinches him*
dentist: that's for not flossing, you little shit
COP: Know why I pulled you over?— Floyd (@dafloydsta) November 30, 2016
ME: Because I didn't floss?
DENTIST: *rips off cop mask* I gotcha now, you son of a-
At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I'm forty. I have one.— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) June 19, 2013
Turns out my dentist is not giving me a plaque for great teeth after all. He really hurt my fillings.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 6, 2017
My dentist sent me a reminder postcard— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 12, 2017
And a reminder email
And a reminder text
If he shows up outside my window with a boombox, I'm out
DENTIST: "Now lie back and open your mouth"— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) April 13, 2015
ME: "Please stop flirting with me."
Eating candy in the dentist's waiting room because I'm a bad ass.— Stacey (@skittle624) September 27, 2017
"Does anyone know why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony?"— Floyd (@dafloydsta) November 20, 2015
[dentist yells from back] SHE'S NEVER FLOSSED
Dentist: "It looks like you've ground these two teeth down. Why?"— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 2, 2015
Me: "I've had to open thousands of McDonald's ketchup packets this year."
My four year old spends the entire 6 month period between teeth cleanings standing in the dentist's office trying to choose a toothbrush.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 8, 2016
[sits in dentist chair]— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) May 31, 2017
Just give me whatever made that kid scream "IS THIS REAL LIFE"
I like to sit in random dentist offices & start sobbing uncontrollably when a kid comes in— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) October 29, 2011
*gives picture of a great white shark to dentist*— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) June 1, 2015
"Yes I want a smile like that please"