COMEDY

19 Hilarious Drunk Purchases You Won't Regret Waking Up To ... OK, Some You Might

"No, this is going to be a GREAT idea."

No need to be embarrassed. OK, maybe a little embarrassed. So, you got drunk and bought some stuff online. How bad could it be? 

Well, turns out pretty bad. Or awesome, depending on your tastes. But, most importantly, it's hilarious. 

  • Giant googly eyes for your car.
    "Giant googly eyes. The best online purchase I have made yet."
    "Giant googly eyes. The best online purchase I have made yet."
  • Entrance into a marathon.
    "Better start training then hehehe... eh."
    "Better start training then hehehe... eh."
  • The Time magazine cover mirror from "The Big Lebowski."
    "As far as drunk purchases go... I think I did okay on this one."
    "As far as drunk purchases go... I think I did okay on this one."
  • A ball pit.
    "A friend of mine ordered this one night after a large quantity of wine."
    "A friend of mine ordered this one night after a large quantity of wine."
  • 600 whippits.
    "Welp, I've done it again. Apparently 240 whippits was not enough."
    "Welp, I've done it again. Apparently 240 whippits was not enough."
  • A Simpsons Mr. Sparkle T-shirt.
    "Best drunk purchase of my life!"
    "Best drunk purchase of my life!"
  • A World War II Nazi soldier silverware set.
    "What's your latest drunk buy. Here's mine."
    "What's your latest drunk buy. Here's mine."
  • A Pineapple coring tool.
    "Admittedly, it's awesome and life-changing."
    "Admittedly, it's awesome and life-changing."
  • A ninja sword.
    My drunk purchase from Thursday arrived today."
    My drunk purchase from Thursday arrived today."
  • A Nicolas Cage autograph.
    "Best drunk purchase I've ever made. Our lord's signature."
    "Best drunk purchase I've ever made. Our lord's signature."
  • Or better yet, a Nicolas Cage modern art piece.
    "Best drunk art fair purchase ever."
    "Best drunk art fair purchase ever."
  • A kitty sweater.
    "Best drunk purchase in a while."
    "Best drunk purchase in a while."
  • 72 Chinese finger traps and a knife.
    "There is a correlation here, but I don't know what it is."
    "There is a correlation here, but I don't know what it is."
  • Or even better than that, a Wu-Tang Clan knitted sweater.
    "Sometimes drunk purchases aren't so bad."
    "Sometimes drunk purchases aren't so bad."
  • A Shrek racing jacket
    "Sometime I drink and then order things online."
    "Sometime I drink and then order things online."
  • A statue of the Predator made out of old bike parts.
    "I would make that purchase sober."
    "I would make that purchase sober."
  • A Tricera-top for your dog.
    "Went online shopping while drunk... now I own a jurassic pug."
    "Went online shopping while drunk... now I own a jurassic pug."
  • A T-shirt with your own beard selfie on it.
    [No comment.]
    [No comment.]
  • A ... whatever the hell this painting is.
    "This was a case of drunk eBaying."
    "This was a case of drunk eBaying."

 

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