Parents Share 35 Hilarious Names Kids Call Everyday Things

“Band-Aids are ‘damnbaids.’”

Children may not have fully mastered the ins and outs of the English language, but they certainly offer some original takes on it. In fact, some of their malapropisms and creative turns of phrase are arguably better than the correct terms.

We asked members of the HuffPost Parents Facebook community to share the funny names their kids have for various things, and received an overwhelming number of responses. Read on for a hilarious sample.

1. “My 7-year-old calls it ‘the acopalisp.’” ― Melissa Kovach

2. “When my son was younger, he called jalapeños ‘halloween-peños’” ― Alex Hart Bente

3. “My daughter called hangers ‘hookers.’ She would yell ‘Mom, I need a hooker!’” ― Margaret Perry

4. “My son calls Hershey’s Kisses ‘chocolate hats.’” ― Sarah Ashley

5. “My grandson at 4 called my pantry ‘your food closet.’ And it has remained that.” ― Carolyn Elkins

6. My son calls Pop-Tarts ‘Bob-Tarts’ (he read the box upside down), and says ‘out of balance’ instead of out of bounds when discussing basketball.” ― Amanda Rodriguez

7. “My daughter thought the movie ‘Despicable Me’ was ‘Dee-pickle Mimi.’” ― Elizabeth Perry Comeaux

8. “My youngest son was the funniest when at a very young age instead of saying his ice cream was Neapolitan, he instead called it ‘metropolitan.’ And that is what we call ice cream to this day.” ― Trish Waddell Blevins-Taylor

9. “My kids used to called popcorn ‘cockporn,’ which was interesting when they told people we were going home to watch a movie and have cockporn.” ― Hattie Harrison

10. “My 4-year-old calls the windscreen wipers ‘wind screamers.’” ― Nat Kemp

11. “My daughter called her nostrils ‘tunnels.’” ― Erin Malone Finnegan

12. “One of my boys used to call sandwiches ‘sam-bitches.’” ― Liz Krause

13. “My son always asked for ‘scream’ on his bagels and ‘shoobop’ for his pancakes (cream cheese and syrup).” ― Elizabeth Perry Comeaux

14. “My granddaughter says ‘lasterday,’ which could refer to anytime from a few hours ago to several months ago. I love it!” ― Patti Burkardt Brewer

15. “Band-Aids are ‘damnbaids.’” ― Elizabeth Shaffer

16. “For one of my sons, chicken legs were ‘drum bomes,’ corn on the cob was ‘corn bomes,’ and eyeballs were ‘eye bulbs.’ I still call them eye bulbs.” ― Jackie Lyon

17. “My now 15-year-old used to call an ambulance a ‘hospital bus’.... I mean, she wasn’t incorrect.” ― Deanna DuVal-Grimm

18. “My daughter used to call deviled eggs ‘doubled eggs’... which actually kinda made sense.” ― Barry Elliott

19. “My 4-year-old has a pair of crutches for her American Girl doll and she calls them ‘palm sticks.’ My husband and I now refer to crutches as palm sticks, even when she’s not around.” ― Alexandra Pratt

20. “Crop tops are ‘crock tops.’” ― Caroline Boag Maddux

21. “My little one was very disappointed to find out her ‘TV test’ at the pediatrician was really a TB test. She also referred to McDonald’s as ‘the chicken nugget store’ until she was 6.” ― Jennifer Langdorf

22. “Instead of unplug, my daughter would say ‘plug it out.’” ― Rebecca Weaver

23. “Napkins = ‘cappins’” ― Linda Marshall

24. “While reading a book about the human body, our oldest asked what a ‘vag-in-awe’ (rhymes with ‘wag’-in-awe) was. And now that’s what we say, always, when referring to female anatomy.” ― Linda Marshall

25. “My 5-year-old calls toenails ‘footnails’ and fingernails ‘handnails.’ Also refers to sweeping as ‘brooming.’” ― Trisha Thomas Clarke

26. “My husband says ‘refrigerator’ and I say ‘fridge,’ so when my daughter was around 3, she started calling it the ‘fridgadator.’ Lol she’s 18 now, and we still say it that way.” ― Diane Rawashda

27. “When our son was not quite talking, he’d ask for the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets by saying ‘rawr.’ Even as he got older, it’d be ‘Can I have some rawr for dinner?’” ― Ashley Falkin Vail

28. “My youngest daughter calls sliced chicken ‘chicken sheets.’” ― Cindy CJ Avis Farrow

29. “My son calls a mosquito a ‘sco-be-toe.’ His speech therapist tried to put an end to it, but we prevailed and they will forever be a ‘sco-be-toe.’” ― Christine Shinners Cirlin

30. “Our son used to call testicles ‘tiger toes,’ caterpillars were ‘ah-boo-dees’ and giraffes ‘gu-lays.’” ― Katie De Leon

31. “My all-time favorite is how my son says ‘Joe-fiss’ for his middle name, Joseph.” ― Callie Van Leuven

32. “My son calls milkshakes ‘ice cream juice.’” ― Angela Pippi Costello Tatas

33. “‘Long-sleeved pants’ as opposed to shorts. I guess they didn’t understand why shirts were short and long-sleeved but not pants.” ― Megan Kellander Colburn

34. “My son calls cheeseburgers ‘chipsburgers.’ And he says ‘apple tree’ for the apple slices he eats.” ― Brittany Vincent

35. “My kids have called it ‘hanitizer’ instead of hand sanitizer. I think it would be a perfect brand name.” ― Lindsay Curtin

Responses have been lightly edited.