As a first-time parent, you worry about every little thing: adhering to a perfect schedule, feverishly researching the best baby products, feeding your kid the healthiest foods you can find, documenting every milestone and avoiding screen time.
By the time the second, third or fourth kid enters the world, you tend to take a more relaxed approach to parenting. Those plastic, light-up baby toys? Sure! Some fast food now and then? Why not. And little TV or iPad time? Not that big of a deal.
Below, we gathered 24 tweets that hilariously capture the differences between raising your first kid versus raising your second, third or fourth.
me after my first kid: screen time is terrible, I will raise you to appreciate wooden blocks and imagination
— Nick Evershed (@NickEvershed) September 6, 2019
me after the second kid: the wiggles are your parents now
1st Kid: OMG YOU ATE A FRUIT SNACK OFF THE FLOOR OF WALMART CALL 911 MY POOR BABY!
— Upside Dad (@UpsideDad) February 9, 2022
2nd Kid: Ew buddy spit that out.
3rd Kid: Sweet, I don’t need to make lunch.
First kid: Shhh, be quiet or you'll wake the baby.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) September 10, 2017
Second kid: *using a leaf blower to dust the furniture*
Pictures of 1st kid
— Danielle Nicki (@DanielleNicki) February 23, 2022
📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸
Pictures of 2nd kid
📸📸📸📸📸
Pictures of any additional kids
🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
First kid: makes homemade baby purées
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) December 14, 2021
Second kid: throws baby puffs on the floor
[breakfast]
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) April 28, 2018
First kid: French toast, organic fruit
Second kid: Cereal
Third kid: Ketchup
[First kid]
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 26, 2019
Kid: Mom, why are they called dandelions?
Me: That’s a great question! *Googles word etymology, gives in-depth explanation, discusses other flower names*
[Second kid]
Kid: Mom, why are they called dandelions?
Me: I have no idea, get in the car.
1st kid: I bought us some paper mache, paint, clay, and glitter for an art project!!
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 7, 2019
2nd kid: I bought you some crayons and construction paper for an art project!!
3rd kid: *hands him a roll of tape* Go knock yourself out.
Me with first child: NO SCREEN TIME EVER NONE.
— Sabaa Tahir (@sabaatahir) April 26, 2019
Me with second child: here's your bottle, and here's your paci and here's the remote enjoy kid
1st child 1st birthday:
— Douglas A. Boneparth (@dougboneparth) March 7, 2020
rent a venue, invite everyone and their mother, hire a musician, catering, an elaborate cake, gift unwrapping, goodie bags and a large credit card bill
2nd child 1st birthday:
an empty amazon box
1st kid: Has 21 pictures of baby blinking
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) September 1, 2017
2nd kid: Has one blurry picture of graduation day
1st kid: OMG is that a tooth?? (researches age appropriate brush/paste, buys them immediately, takes pictures and posts to Facebook)
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) February 12, 2020
2nd kid: Oops, he has three teeth we should’ve been brushing. I’ll grab a brush next time I’m out.
3rd kid: These fall out anyway, right?
First kid: Warmed-up wet wipes.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) March 16, 2022
Second kid: Warmed-up wet willies.
When your 1st kid crawls into your bed, you carry them back to theirs. 2nd kid crawls into your bed, you let them stay because you’re tired. When the 3rd kid gets into your bed, you go sleep in theirs and it’s the best night you’ve had in 8 years.
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 9, 2022
First kid: No TV
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) March 1, 2022
Second kid: Dora
Third kid: One Tree Hill
1st kid: Everything is completely safe and the floor is padded.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) April 8, 2021
2nd kid: Those crumbs are from yesterday, you're fine.
3rd kid: The cord isn't plugged, so you're good.
Parenting through the years:
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 1, 2019
1st kid: Organic food only
2nd kid: “McDonald’s once in a while isn’t so bad.”
3rd kid: “Did he just eat dog food? I’m sure he’s fine.”
1st kid: sterilize and purify EVERYTHING, no TV, fast food, sugar or screens
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) August 23, 2019
2nd: use your spit to sanitize on the go, screen time in small doses, homemade fries and nuggets
3rd: wipe sippy cup w. sleeve, happy meals in drive thru, shrug when kids eat floor food, iPads are life
1st child: School projects are sorted neatly and filed by grade year.
— Gerry Dee (@gerrydee) March 9, 2022
2nd child: They are somewhere in the house.
3rd child: They are put in recycling bin once graded.
1st Kid: Pregnancy announcement, gender reveal party, maternity photo shoot, newborn photo shoot, monthly photo shoots.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) February 21, 2019
2nd Kid: Pregnancy announcement, Monthly photo updates a couple days late.
3rd Kid: "Some pics from Josh's 1st birthday.... oh, this is Josh. We had a baby."
*filling out preschool form*
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 1, 2018
1st child: She knows all of the letters and numbers.
2nd child: He knows all of the colors.
3rd child: She knows all of the swear words.
me to my first kid: OMG YOU’RE WALKING *tears* oh the places you will go
— jo (@whatsJo) July 23, 2019
me to my second: yayyy rockstar!!
me to my third: whoa slow down there, what’s the rush lmao
me to my fourth: *discreetly knocks him over* dude I just sat down for the first time in a year, chill
It's funny how different parents are with each child. First child, second child, third child. I just heard this kid shout "Hail Satan!" but he was the youngest of five, and the parents didn't even notice.
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) May 22, 2019
1st child: OH MY GOD HE’S EATING A CRAYON! STOP! TAKE IT OUT!
— Raz (@raztweets) June 21, 2019
2nd child: Oh dear you ate a bit of crayon
3rd child: Here you go son, here’s a whole pack, go wild. Just let Baba sleep
This is part of a HuffPost Parents series called Enjoy The Ride. Read more here.
Before You Go
