I don't have heroes or role models, and at 51, I've found my first: Hillary Clinton.
When this race started I knew very little about her. I've since learned that she's an activist. An activist.
The last seven years that word has become sacrosanct to me. I've seen and lived it. Suffered the plight of fighting for something you believe in against all odds. Of being attacked personally which hurts so much when you know you are deeply caring.
When I first saw the attacks on Hillary this election my gut recoiled. I saw the character assassination tactics. I watched the witch hunt. And I remembered back to when the Clintons first stood up for gay rights, or tried to, against an AIDS backlash that destroyed anything in its path as gays were vilified and rejected by our nation.
I watched the impeachment hearings, in disbelief. In shock. The Republicans mounted a full-throttle attempt to bring down the President.
I was a lawyer then, a litigator, and clear-eyed of the politics. The Clintons were persecuted and prosecuted. And the religious right hated them and turned all their rage against us - the faggots who deserved AIDS -- at the Clintons. We were under attack and have been ever since.
When I jumped in this election debate, during the primary, I felt Hillary was under attack again. Worse yet, a great ally was under attack. Because in the LGBTQ struggle -- just recently -- Hillary had thrown me a lifeline.
I was begging our movement to use the words "Civil Rights" and to "think" and know that we were entitled to be in the 1964 Civil Rights Law as a matter of international human rights.
No one wanted us to go there. And Hillary -- surprise -- in 2011 -- jumped ahead of the world and proclaimed "Gay Rights Are Human Rights!"
At the time I was suffocating, obsessively protesting like a mad man screaming outside the castle doors. And Hillary led the way.
So when I saw her on the ropes in the primary, branded and attacked by viscous misogyny, I studied her story. I got involved strategically. I wanted to know how to counter the moral high ground seized by the far left.
And I found a hero. I found a woman who always cared. Who took risks. Who went into the trenches. Fearless. Determined. Successful. I saw results. Laws. Policies. Lives -- million of lives -- impacted.
I saw a woman who reminded me of my mother -- a single woman a decade younger than Hillary -- who raised five kids and owned her own business in a man's world.
I know that woman who had to have thick skin but who is instinctively compassionate.
And then I met Hillary for the first time -- at her NY launch event -- and I saw my grandmother.
I was ready to talk about the Equality bill -- and when she looked at me and grabbed my hand -- looking right into me -- her sparkly little eyes alive and sweet, so sweet -- I fumbled my line and just said: "we're with you." I didn't expect it. But I knew her at a glance. And i was glad I went -- to see for myself.
At this point in my life at times I feel exhausted and just done. Taking on the gay rights establishment to get The Equality Act was exhausting. Mounting a musical was overwhelming.
And yet I see Hillary. Chugging forward. Taking it from all sides. 69 soon -- almost 20 years my senior -- and still at it -- reaching for the glory ring.
And from every corner the stories abound of her grace. So many testimonials it's clear that Hillary has demonstrated the sainted life of good deeds and that there is more to come.
Just yesterday, she jokingly called out the "highest, hardest, stained glass ceiling" at a Catholic Charities event in NYC in front of our nemesis Cardinal Dolan.
She didn't have to go there. But she does.
I have a hero now. Or as Ru Paul calls it -- a Shero!
I can't wait to see what comes next Madam President!