Looking for a holiday gift for the chicken lover on your list? How about a night on the town, complete with animal sitter? Or a crate of oranges? Hand-crafted cookies, warm gloves, a lawn chair with cup holder and matching sunshade -- these are all fine ideas. So is anything that is not shaped like a chicken.
No chicken keychains. No chicken pot holders. No chicken candlesticks, coin banks, coat hooks or corkscrews. Chicken calendars are okay, and so are chicken books (full disclosure: I even write them), because those are shaped like what they are. But please, spare us the fetishes. People who love the real thing do not really want to wipe their feet on a doormat simulacrum.
Or maybe they do, at least some of them, because there's no accounting for taste. Below, some recent chicken-gift sightings, ready for your vote. I have my own "least-worst" favorite. What's yours?