Finding a Peaceful Path Through the Holidays

The holidays are upon us. Peace on earth, and goodwill to all. Right?

Or perhaps it feels more like stress at home and ill will toward family?

You want to enjoy your families over the holidays, but you end up feeling "not quite at home" with the people to whom you are supposed to be closest.

You want to lay the table beautifully, buy the right wine, give your children ethical, sustainable gifts, and do it all with your hair brushed and your lipstick on straight. But you end up giving into pleas for the new Barbie, don't even know which is the right wine, and never seem to leave enough time to brush your hair before the guests arrive.

You want to feel generous, maybe even a little bit indulgent, but you end up feeling financially squeezed, maybe even a little bit scared.

This mix of high expectations, financial pressure and family tension puts even the easiest of our relationships under strain. We start wishing the holidays would be over and done with. And they have barely even begun.

There is another possibility. This year, take the peaceful path through the holidays.

Every year I lead a group of people who have decided to follow "the peaceful path" through the chaos of the holiday season. I share with them practices I learned while living and working in places like Afghanistan and Gaza -- practices for finding inner peace when chaos and conflict are raging around us.

One of those practices is gratitude. This is a very simple practice, but it is powerful -- and easily misunderstood. It is not about forcing yourself to "feel grateful for what you have." Instead, it is the practice of finding one thing you already feel grateful about and staying with that feeling for a few minutes.

The aim of this practice is to bring into your body the physical and mental benefits of gratitude. Research indicates those physical benefits include lower blood pressure, a healthier immune system, better sleep and a tendency to eat healthier and exercise more. The mental benefits include feeling more alert, awake and alive, and experiencing more pleasure, joy, happiness and optimism. Not bad for a few minutes a day, huh?

Here's how it works:

1. Find a comfortable place to sit -- in a chair or on the floor. You can even lie down on your couch or bed if that feels more comfortable.

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice." -- Meister Eckhart

For more by Marianne Elliott, click here.

For more on stress, click here.