Porn addiction is escalating in ways we could never have imagined in the pre-digital age. Most notably, we are seeing large numbers of teenagers and women struggling with this issue. Regardless of age or gender, the internet’s unencumbered, unfiltered, 24/7/365 access to endless quantities and varieties of pornography has created significant problems for many users, including porn addiction.
Porn addiction occurs when an individual loses control over whether he or she views and uses pornography, the amount of time he or she spends with pornography, and the types of pornography that he or she uses. Porn addicts typically try and fail to quit or cut back, often repeatedly. Over time, they experience negative life consequences related to their compulsive porn use—relationship woes, trouble at work or in school, depression, anxiety, social isolation, financial issues, legal problems, etc.
Research suggests that in today’s world porn addicts typically spend at least 11 or 12 hours per week looking at (and usually masturbating to) pornography—most often videos and still photos accessed via their computer, laptop, tablet, smartphone, or some other internet-enabled device. (Magazines, VHS tapes, DVDs, and other “traditional” forms of pornography are still in use, but the vast majority of porn addicts prefer the anonymity, affordability, and perpetual accessibility that digital technologies provide.) Moreover, this 11 or 12 hours per week number can be the low end of the spectrum. Many porn addicts devote double or even triple that amount of time to pornography.
Signs that casual porn use has risen to the level of addiction include:
- Escalating amounts of time spent on porn use.
- Viewing progressively more arousing, intense, or bizarre sexual content.
- Increased objectification of strangers, viewing them as body parts rather than people.
- Hours, sometimes even days, lost to searching for, viewing, and organizing pornography.
- Lying about, keeping secrets about, and covering up the nature and extent of porn use.
- Escalation from viewing two-dimensional images to using the Internet for casual/anonymous sexual hookups, paid sex, etc.
- Multiple failed attempts to quit or cut back on porn use.
- Anger or irritability if asked to stop using porn.
- Continued porn use despite negative consequences.
- Masturbation to the point of abrasions or injury.
- Reduced or even nonexistent interest in real world sex and intimacy.
- Male sexual dysfunction (erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, inability to reach orgasm).
- Deeply rooted feelings of loneliness, longing, and/or detachment.
- Drug/alcohol abuse in combination with porn use.
- Drug/alcohol addiction relapse related to porn use or feelings about porn use.
Sadly, many porn addicts are reluctant to seek help because they’re too ashamed to talk about their porn use, or because they don’t view their solo sexual behaviors as an underlying source of their unhappiness. As a result, when they do seek assistance, they tend to seek help with their addiction’s related symptoms—depression, loneliness, and relationship troubles—rather than the porn problem itself. Many see a therapist for extended periods without ever discussing (or even being asked about) pornography or masturbation. Thus, their core problem remains underground and untreated.
At this point, I think it is important to state, very clearly, that although technology does without doubt facilitate and drive porn addiction, it does not appear to be a root cause. In fact, most healthy people can use porn and similar technologies in non-compulsive ways, just as most healthy people can consume alcohol without becoming addicted. They do not get hooked, and they do not experience negative consequences. However, individuals who are predisposed to addiction (thanks to genetics and/or early-life trauma) can struggle with porn and other forms of sexnology the same as they might struggle with booze, drugs, gambling, or any other potential addiction. So, the growing availability of online porn does not increase the likelihood that individuals will struggle, it merely increases the odds that their struggles, if they have them, will be sexual in nature.
If you think you or someone you know might be addicted to porn, counseling is available from Certified Sex Addiction Therapists. Twelve-step groups for sex addiction recovery include Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA), Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA). For more specific information, check out my book, Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction.
Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is a digital-age intimacy and relationships expert specializing in infidelity and addictions. He is the author of several highly regarded books, including Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction. Currently, he is CEO of Seeking Integrity, being developed as an online resource for recovery from infidelity and sexual addiction. For more information please visit his website, RobertWeissMSW.com, or follow him on Twitter, @RobWeissMSW.