January 2013 should have been the beginning of the best year of my life. I just released my second book (Boss Lady: Seven Life Principles to Reign in the New Economy), I was back at work after taking some time off after a complete meltdown, and I was living in a new space that allowed my mother who was disabled by multiple sclerosis to get around with no problem.
Everything looked as if it was finally coming together, and then that dreadful day came that changed my life forever. On January 10, 2013, I was teaching a class of social workers. I was discussing my mother and her experience with working with children with special needs.
Then I got the call. It was like the shot heard around the world. My brother said the words I never wanted to hear. He said, "you have to come home. Please come home... Mommy is gone."
I heard the words, but it was unreal. I let out a scream that will always be embedded in the minds of those who heard me, embedded in the minds of my students who instantly came to my rescue. I remember falling out on the floor. I remember screaming "I don't believe it."
But what I remember most was my students kneeling on the floor and praying for me in different languages, rubbing my head and consoling me. I had to be carried out of work that day.
A few weeks ago, I watched Mark Nepo on Super Soul Sunday. I didn't realize until then that the loss of my mother made me lose the drive for my book. When I wrote the book, I knew God had purposed it to help a group of women who questioned their very being, why they are here and do they matter. A group of women whose spirituality had not been tapped in a way that was relatable. But how do you move on without your number one cheerleader? The very person who inspired you to write, the person whom you dedicated your book and discussed in the chapter on PURPOSE?
Listening to Mark Nepo helped me to realize that the death of my mother should not be an experience wasted. The passing of my mother is a part of my spiritual journey and I should share the evidence of what I have been through and continue to go through. He reminded me to embrace my darkest hour.
The very principles that I share in my book, were the ones I needed to go back and cling to. Boss Lady: Seven Life Principles to Reign in the New Economy teaches about developing a relationship with God in order to live the life you were destined to live. And while it has changed the lives of so many women, it has given me new breath. It has allowed me to get back to "following my aliveness." - Mark Nepo
As this year winds down, I encourage you to move forward in spite of the loss. Move forward even when you feel like you have nothing left. You made it through in spite of the obstacles and failures. Renew your mind, body and spirit and make a decision to live. Live with expectancy and live on purpose.
May 2014 be the best year you ever had!