Hot Avocados Are Ruining Everything, Here's How (PHOTOS)

Just keep them away from casseroles, OKAY?

Avocados have a dark side. We know this is hard for you to hear, but bear with us.

We are well aware that just about everyone loves avocados. We love eating them the conventional way (in guacamole and in salads), and we're not opposed to getting a little crazy with avocados every once in a while. They're popular, and we get that. So it's a little hard to talk about this, but we have to admit it. There's one particular incarnation of the avocado that we take issue with.


They're brown. They're flavorless. They're void of the cool creaminess that makes avocados so incredible. They're just uncomfortable, sitting there on your tongue like hot garbage. They ARE hot garbage.

To clarify, let us say that there is a fine line between a "hot avocado" and an "avocado in hot food." Avocados served as accompaniments to hot applications are acceptable -- avocado toast, in which cool avocado is spread on warm toast, is just fine. Even grilled guacamole, which heats an avocado BEFORE cooling it down to serve, is also acceptable. But serving avocado WHILE IT'S HOT is a whole different issue.

Below, we've attempted to break down acceptable vs. unacceptable formats for hot avocado. Where do you stand on the issue? Let us know in the comments below. We have a feeling we'll be hearing from you.

First, let's start off with a couple examples that we can stand. Then we'll work our way toward the offenders.

ACCEPTABLE: Served As An Accompaniment For Chili Or Soup
Cookie + Kate
The chili is hot, and the avocado will naturally absorb some of that heat. But the avocado also, in turn, lends some of its cool creaminess to the chili. They're working in tandem, and that's ok.Get the recipe for Cookie + Kate's Butternut Squash Chipotle Chili with Avocado
ACCEPTABLE: Fried Avocado Tacos
We can handle this one. There are enough accoutrements to add acidity, spice, and textural interest to this dish. We won't fight this.Get the recipe for Food52's Fried Avocado Tacos
Tim Ferriss
This thing. Slimy, flavorless egg + slimy, flavorless, hot avocado. We know the world is in love with it, but we're just not feeling it.
UNACCEPTABLE: In A Reheated Burrito
Flickr: VeronicaSheppard
This is the most common format in which we find hot guac. On occasions that you only eat half of your giant burrito, you save the rest for later, right? But upon reheating it, the guacamole and the lettuce turn into a swamp for your mouth. SWAMP MOUTH.
UNACCEPTABLE: Avocado Mac & Cheese
Listen, you've already got creamy cheese sauce and soft pasta. What exactly is avocado adding to the mix here? Also: Slime + Slime = Looks like slime.
Flickr: seeknewtravel
Let's just put aside the fact that these are hideous. Here's the real question: Are you really going to eat more than one of these? Really? Before you do, think about this. The FDA suggests that one serving of avocado is 1/5 of an avocado. That's one of these fries, guys. Eat a plateful of these, and let us know how you feel later.
We're starting to give up here.
Flickr: ChiaLynn
Oh no they didn't.
We're done here.

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