5 Fun Ways to Piss Off a Trump Supporter

It's never too early to start marginalizing a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, megalomaniac like Trump. Just ask 1930s Germany. But it doesn't have to be the stodgy, run-of-the-mill, campaigning your grandmother is used to. It can be fun!

  1. Drinking game Pick up your favorite adult beverage (mine is a French 75 -- champagne, gin, muddled lime and sugar), invite a few like-minded friends over and one Trump fan friend (if you can even find one), pull up youtube on your Apple TV and play this video to get you started. Drink every time Trump says the word deal, terrible, Mexico, stupid, China, wall. Also when he has a change in hair color or when you spot a mullet standing behind him.
  2. Need a tamer version of this game? Drink when he says the word inclusive, compassionate, modest, or quiet. Also when you spot a Hispanic person, Millennial or yarmulke in the background.

  3. Go on a shopping spree! If fashion is your thing, like it is mine, consider buying one of these pithy pieces of garb below and make sure no one thinks, for a second, that you'd support the boob.
    Shop Your Way to a Better Choice

  5. Plan a road trip! Attend a Trump rally wearing your new hoodie from suggestion #2. Make sure to bring a friend to film the inevitable sucker punch you'll get from a Trumpee. Here's Trump's schedule.
  6. Phone bank Except, instead of calling for Hillary or Bernie, campaign for Trump. Just make sure you're honest about what Trump stands for. For example, a typical call could go like this:
  7. Hello, do you have a minute to talk about how Trump will make America great again? [pause] Seriously? Oh, okay. I-I thought you were joking. Well let me start by saying that I admire Trump for his candidness and disregard for political correctness and general discourse. Am I right? [chortle] For instance, Trump said, quote -- if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her -- end quote. If only Obama had the balls to say that about his daughters maybe America would be great again. Am I right? [chortle]

    If the bellend is still on the phone, continue...

    And how about those fingers? When the Donald said, quote -- My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body, I was like, yes! This is the man America needs.

    Are they still on the phone? Just hang up. If you do this, have fun with it but don't be a jerk. Drumpf has given us plenty of fun material to work with. Also, make sure you grab a google voice number along with the app to make calls from a number other than your own.

  8. Neighborhood BBQ Fire up the barbie and invite all of the wonderful people you share your community with (you know, the ones you avoid making eye contact with when swiftly and clandestinely scurrying from your car to the house).
  9. Start by picking up some steaks (not Trump-brand) and some baked beans from Kroger. Provide some cool beverages and perhaps a lawn game, like corn hole, and let the conversations flow. Once everyone is fed and content with a nice buzz make the following announcement, "I have a confession to make. I am a Trump supporter". After everyone gasps and likely boos, laugh out loud and make it clear that pigs would fly out of your butt before you voted for a lout like Trump.

    This will do two things: 1. Get a good laugh from the respectable people making you the cool neighbor that everyone likes. 2. Alienate the bad eggs in your neighborhood and ensure that they now know better than to stick a "Make America Great Again" yard sign anywhere in sight of you. And maybe they'll move. To like, Alabama.

    Bonus idea! Share this post. Facebook it, Tweet it, email it, or leave another idea in the comments below. No one should be deprived the fun.

    In all seriousness a Donald Trump presidency is an incredibly scary prospect and he is now way too close for comfort to the White House. Please do consider donating or volunteering your time for Bernie or Hillary. Campaigning can truly be a fun experience and you can live proud knowing that you helped defeat one of the most awful people to ever flap their combover on this planet. Start here (Bernie) or here (Hillary).