Hot? Think About the GDP


There is a considerable amount of griping these days about how hot the weather has become. Frankly, I'm tired of it. The so-called climate hawks are always looking for something to complain about without recognizing the silver lining in the furnace, so to speak.

Let's stop bitching for a moment and count our blessings.

First, the record-hot temperatures we see around the United States today mean we all can wear fewer clothes. Think of this as the eye-candy effect in which very short shorts and very small tops for women, plus no tops at all for men, are the norm year-round. This will be bad for the clothing industry, of course, but good for the national libido, assuming the clothing I just described is limited to people with less than 20 percent body fat.

Second, consider the long-term benefits for our species. I don't mean to be heartless, but heat waves already are our No. 1 weather killer. Think of the evolutionary upside as heat waves get even hotter. The weak and the poor will succumb while the strong and the 1 percent, with their unlimited funds for air conditioning, will survive. Bottom line: A better homo sapien.

Third, the rapid rise in air conditioning bills, broad-brimmed hats, emergency medical care, bottled water, sunscreen, deodorants, antiperspirant pads, swimming pools and heat rash ointments will more than make up for the downsizing of the clothing industry. These products will be a year-round stimulus for the economy. If you are one of the malcontents complaining about the heat, you are thinking only about yourself and not the GDP, without which none of us would be happy.

We hear a lot of complaints, too, about melting glaciers and sea-level rise. When was the last time a glacier did anything for you? Rising sea levels just mean that more of us will live closer to the beach, which is a good thing given all this damn heat. Again, we have to think of the big picture here.

As somebody once said, everybody is talking about the weather, but nobody is doing anything about it. So stop complaining and get used to it.