"I want to get it done, I just don't seem to get 'round to it."
So said a client who told me that her last will and testament, which needed updating, had been sitting in her inbox for four years.
Four years! And during all that period, every time she looked at it, she felt a mild twinge of guilt. She knew it was there; she knew she needed to do something about it; and it still didn't happen.
What did happen was a slow but steady drain on her energy.
So what's this got to do with a Pilates class?
I've been doing Pilates now for several years; it really helps keep my back in good condition. For the first two years I attended one class a week, and did my best to do the exercises at home alone.
I'd do a few mornings with some exercise and feel really good and virtuous.
But then something would come up and I'd not do the exercises that morning. I'd justify it with saying I'll do them the next day, and I don't have to be perfect; that doing them 80 percent of the time but considering myself 100 percent successful was fine. But basically, I felt a tiny bit bad about not doing them.
Eventually, I ended up not doing the exercises at home at all. And then I felt quite a bit more self-critical about it.
Finally I admitted the truth of the situation: I was never going to do exercises at home, alone.
I decided instead to commit to going to two Pilates classes a week and forget all about doing anything on my own.
Now, I no longer feel bad about (I just know I'm not going to ever exercise at home!) and instead feel great about what I do in the classes. And of course I feel great physically too.
Do you recognize yourself here?
It's the age-old pattern, seen by many gyms across the country: people start exercising enthusiastically; then they attend a bit less, until eventually it tails off and they go back to their old sedentary habits, feeling mildly or severely self-critical -- until they get the next surge of enthusiasm about exercising again. And so the whole roundabout starts off again.
But what's this got to do with a last will and testament?
Well, I've seen the same thing happen with so many people in relation to their own end of life matters.
My client just wasn't taking the actions needed on her own; it wasn't until she admitted she was never going to get it done on her own, and accepted my offer of help, that she began to take action.
Just like going to a second Pilates class.
If you know you need to get a will, living will or Power of Attorney done -- or indeed any or all of the many questions that arise towards the end of life, take a look at my book Before I Go: Practical Questions to Ask and Answer Before You Die.
Hopefully, you're the sort of person who will answer the questions in this book on your own, and that is fantastic. Your own mental health and that of your family and loved ones will benefit.
But if you know you're the kind of person who needs that extra bit of help, then contact me on Facebook and I can tell you more.
In the meantime, enjoy your exercises classes with more freedom and less guilt -- and at the same time, take care of these crucial questions about the end of your life!