Photo by: TKIDesigns
There is something beautiful about parenting that, I think in the hustle and bustle of life, I tend to forget. The element of raising a child that is ever changing and ever developing is so common that it can seem a burden rather than a blessing.
The other night, as I took on the task of changing my son a small ant made an everlasting impression on my life as a mother. My 14-month-old son is one of those kids that does not like being interrupted during his outdoor play time even for the poop that sits on his behind.
The poop is not bothering him so why is it bothering everyone else so much? What's wrong with a little poop, right? Anyhow, he screamed and cried when my husband did just that, interrupted, to bring him in the house to be changed. This is when I began to realize how a tiny ant could cause such a big commotion. As he wailed and cried, I decided to try handing him a pack of wipes to occupy and calm him down but that didn't work. I tried turning Elmo on my phone, hoping that would calm him down, another fail. I even tried handing him his shoe just because it was the only other item I could find close to me. You guessed it, the shoe didn't work either, he threw it and went back to wailing.
Eventually he wore himself out and I was able to change his diaper.
But not without the after effect of a throbbing back from trying to keep him from hurting himself as his tantrum got the best of him. The pain in my back increasingly grew as I tried to move around and get other things done throughout the day. My husband finally told me to sit down and let him handle it. By the end of the night, I could barely pick my son up.
That's when it hit me, my once calm and sweet little baby is now a rough and strong 14-month old.
What happened to the time?
Isn't that how it works in this wonderful world of parenting? Time keeps moving, kids keep growing, life doesn't stop until our time is up but inevitably time keeps moving. I see so many people that are masters at taking in every moment with their children. If I can be honest that was never my strongest area. I had children young and never understood that the joy in growth was to watch, embrace, and enjoy each step whether it's a pencil mark from an inch growth on a wall or the first roller coaster ride. Getting to experience the process of growth is amazing but I didn't yet know this!
As a young mom, I was present for moments like kindergarten graduation, field trips and awards but I didn't take time to experience the joys that happened in the everyday moments of their lives. I didn't stop to watch as they finally learned how to stretch their legs out for a full cartwheel or laugh as they tried to chase a bird or marvel at their amusement as they met an ANT for the first time. Embracing the moment just wasn't something I ever considered. Not completely at least. Until that day!
Photo by: TKIDesigns
My son's tantrum taught me a lot about embracing the moment. My son wasn't just having any old tantrum, his tantrum was massive and well meaning. He was embracing the moment, when my husband picked him up, he was in the middle of a new discovery. He was watching a tiny black ant for the first time. He was trying to understand this tiny creature that moved around, ran so quickly and hid within seconds. It was as if his whole world in that moment revolved around the new thing he had just seen. He laughed, he asked questions in his baby language that no one understood, and he followed it with his eyes and even his body. He was present in the moment. We (my son, my husband and I) were present in the moment. Our world revolved around his new discovery. He was fully present in that moment and it only took a moment. He didn't care about the poop on his behind, the potential diaper rash or the aroma it was giving, all he cared about in that moment was the ant.
It only takes a moment to create a memory. And now I have that moment (and back pain) to remind me of the first time he saw an ant.
I'm not perfect at being present. There is laundry to do, rooms to clean, and food to cook. But I am learning that everyday, I can try to find moments with my children to be present in their world of new, because time keeps moving but moments can last if you turn them into memories.