There are so many things I love about American culture. Like, for example, when we all began acknowledging b*tchy resting face (BRF). That's definitely me. I have your average, run-of-the-mill, textbook b*tchy resting face. Sorry for the profanity, Mom.
Before explanations about BRF came to light, I felt the sufferings of many other kind-hearted-hard-faced women. Was I constantly asked if everything was okay? Yep. Was I frequently accused of being angry? Oh yeah. Has answering questions regarding my emotional wellbeing with the phrase, "It's just my face" become monotonous? Definitely.
As cumbersome as this feature of mine has become, I have also found it useful. Truly, I credit my BRF with the success I have experienced in my efforts to breastfeed my child. I believe that it's because of my b*tchy resting face, and not an educated or broadly supportive public, that I have been generally been left well enough alone while engaging in this activity whilst in public. It is my suspicion that individuals who see me nursing my daughter in public and might find me vulgar or obscene for doing so, who then toy with the idea of approaching me with reproach, notice my distinctive BRF and think twice about engaging with me. I could be way off here, though; it could be that everyone who has ever seen my two square inches of flat-chested breast-skin pop out from underneath my camisole and nursing bra then greedily disappear into a mouth that is now filled with 12 gorgeous white teeth is fully supportive of my decision to breastfeed my daughter. That could be the case. But yeah, no, I'm pretty sure that it's because of my BRF.
Maybe I'm being too hard on the American public. There are social media campaigns, after all, that aim to promote awareness, education and support for breastfeeding mothers, and more importantly, for the choices that all mothers (and fathers) make for the wellbeing of their children, regardless of the avenue chosen. Campaigns such as Free The Nipple and #brelfie are playing their part in empowering women and mothers around the world. These campaigns are great. I'm definitely a fan, and not because I think breastfeeding is the right way to feed your baby. I'm a fan because I believe that women are in control of their bodies and are allowed to do with them as they see fit. That means making the decision for themselves as to whether or not breastfeeding -- or breastfeeding with a cover, or breastfeeding without a cover -- is right for them as a mother and a woman. And a world of empowered women is just a better world all around.
This is my second attempt at breastfeeding. My first attempt, with my twin daughters, turned into formula feedings and it worked out perfectly for us. This time, with her older sisters' still running most of the show, the reality about breastfeeding my singleton has been that we've had to get brave about nursing around other people. And when you've nursed a baby for 18 months, you've nursed her nearly everywhere! Let me be a little more specific; here's a brief list of a sampling of the places I've nursed my daughter:
At the hospital
On my couch
In my bed
In my nursery rocking chair
In my church building
In a Mormon ward building
At my mom's house
At my mother-in-law's house
At my other mother-in-law's house
In my car
At the mall
At the McDonald's PlayPlace
At the movie theatre
Inside a laundry detergent factory
At various restaurants
At city parks
At playgrounds
At the swimming pool
At the beach
At the aquarium
At a bowling alley
At Snowbird ski resort
At the children's museum
On our city's mass transit train
Inside Rice-Ecccles Stadium
At a Starbucks
At my twins' preschool
At my husband's office
At the doctor's office
I've nursed my daughter in most of these places several times (except the laundry detergent factory, that was a one time deal). Many of these places are public, some are private. Regardless, thanks to my BRF, I've never had anyone come up to me and try to shame me for feeding my daughter.
I did have a #brelfie of mine reported on Facebook, though. Twice. Thankfully, Facebook has very specific language in their nudity policy that protects photographs of mothers breastfeeding their children, and my photograph was not removed. Here's the scandalous image:
All joking aside, I really have loved this experience with my daughter. I've loved it so much, in fact, that I commissioned one of my amazingly talented professional photographer friends, Carrie Butler, to do a breastfeeding session with my daughter and me. I cried when I got these pictures back -- I know that this phase is a short one, and I know that when I look at these pictures when my daughter has grown and I'll remember how amazing it was to have had shared this experience with her.
We all want a better world for our children, and ourselves, and supporting the ingestion of nutrients by a child is just one small way you can make that happen. Breastfeeding isn't gross, it is not indecent, it is not nudity. It's just one way to feed a baby. Yep. Really, that's all it is.
