Commitment is an emotive word. For some it evokes thoughts about relationship, investing your all to a significant other or a dependant. But what does the word mean when related to us individually? What does it mean to commit to me?
One of the first pieces of work in coaching is an exploration into who you are at your core, who you are when you are working and living in your element. This particular process is inspiring and enlightening and empowering. It opens up a whole new world of self-discovery.
This piece of the puzzle is like The Matrix where Neo is first introduced to the idea that he is "the one," that there is way more to him than the shy and small version he choses to be as we see him at the beginning of the film. Later on in the movie, Neo gets to choose whether to continue on this journey of truth (swallowing the red pill), or go back to the life he had before (swallowing the blue pill). Neo of course goes on to swallow the red pill, and has to fully commit to the path that lies ahead.
The discovery of who you are at your core is the easy bit. The bigger and often more difficult piece is embracing that new version of you fully and completely. The real work is swallowing the red pill. But what does that actually mean, how does that play out in our lives?
Over the past few years I've recognized the essence of who I really am, at my core I am deeply peaceful and can hold space for others to really explore more of who they are. For many years prior to this I would shrink to the side of existence, desperately clinging to a life raft not wanting to venture into my own emotional depths. The discovery that there is depth and scope for me to explore is like me recognizing the option to choose the red pill. I have felt more alive and more empowered in this knowledge than ever before. But then I look at my life, and see that in many ways the grip on the life raft is still pretty firm. I still struggle to ask a burning question of a speaker when in a room full of people, I still shy away on some occasions from fully celebrating the work I do.
And what I really want is to fully commit to the fullest expression of who I am. I want to stand tall, to ask the burning question, to shout loud and proud about my existence in the world and the gifts I bring. But as with everything it's step by step, and so I have decided to introduce manageable actions to move closer to living my truth.
For 30 years I never wore heels, except on rare occasions. Now just to share my perspective, heels for me mean stepping up and being seen, celebrating the space you take up, being tall and proud. And the other week I bought a pair of everyday, heeled shoes. This sounds like nothing, but what happens every time I put those shoes on is I commit to the space I take up in the world, I commit to being really seen, because when I put these heels on I'm about 6 foot, and I am seen.
The second aspect of myself I've tried to tame over the years is my curly hair. Hair straighteners have been my best friend for many years, I can still remember the first day I tried them, honestly it was life changing. However, naturally my hair twists this way and that, it's actually pretty untameable. And so recently I took the radical step to have most of it chopped off leaving a mad nest of my natural waves.
Now these examples might seem cosmetic, but what they really are is symbolic of the way I want to show up in the world, they are symbolic of the transition I am making between imagining and dreaming about the person I want to be, and really living it.
And with every action I carry out that gets me standing more fully in the greatest version of who I am, the more I feed my subconscious the idea that that is who I commit to being.
We are all "the one" in our own lives, we all have something special and unique that deserves to be explored, and deserves to be committed to.
For more from Hannah go to www.hannahmassarella.co.uk or