How Did We Become So Disconnected?

Universally, we bought the lie.

“In the twenty-first century we are the most technologically connected, and simultaneously the most disconnected from ourselves and each other.”

How did we get to this point?  

The idea that success equals lots of money drives some of us to spend a lifetime chasing it. After all, isn’t it the American Dream to have more money than can be spent in one lifetime?

The desire for a huge home that contains more bedrooms than the total number of family members, and more shoes than Imelda Marcos had in her closet, equals success and happiness. And of course, fancy cars also go with the territory.

Less sleep is shared and bragged about as if you have been given a purple heart or a Presidential Medal of Honor. “Up all night” means you are living the rockstar lifestyle and less self-care equals having a ninja warrior mentality. Nothing can get in your way or take you down. The bravado of this lifestyle has left you feeling empty, lonely and craving something else.

But what?

The biggest universal lie teaches that success is not measured by the way in which we connect to other human beings or ourselves. Instead it’s all about posting, sharing and liking, and in the interim you’re missing, crashing and inciting.

Phones that were actually invented to make phone calls are now just an antiquated idea. It’s easier and quicker to text and move on. The clarity is less important as we disconnect from the chaos which is created from the mindless misinterpretations. And from this thread the agony of disconnect prolongs and now you cannot look me in the eye.

How did we end up in the ditch?

Have we fallen from grace or better yet lost it? Why do we find joy spending money we don’t have and piling on debt we can’t afford? We give lavish, unnecessary gifts to feel important and bury ourselves alive as we suffocate with more stuff. The credit card debt keeps ticking, kind of like the national debt, and someone, somewhere will eventually pay for all this reckless abandon and disconnect. It may not be you, but someone will pay for all the stuff so you can live the lie.

The thread of giving “stuff” to ourselves placates the lack of willingness to disconnect so we can reconnect to understanding and compassion. Love and acceptance are the gifts we truly need and desire. These gifts cannot be purchased in a store or placed neatly in a box and wrapped.

What aisle would we shop for happiness on and which wall can we hang fulfillment?

The day of reckoning is not too far off as the longing for connection becomes more palpable.

We shop for potential partners as if we are at Saks Fifth Avenue.  We go floor to floor looking for the person who is dressed the part. We want sleek, glossy and beautiful like the mannequins in the windows. Shhh no need to speak just text.

Year by year we move our line in the sand on personal and professional boundaries. Forgetting we are human and thrive when we give and receive kindness, support and connection. These are the ingredients which grow happy, successful human beings. It seems as though someone re-wrote the manual and we are following along.

Why aren’t we asking questions if this doesn’t feel like a fit?

The long ago days of feeling the sun on our face as we run barefoot through the grass is no longer viewed as the gateway to freedom and play. Instead we have convinced ourselves that we must visit faraway cities so we can post and boast about places visited that we cannot pinpoint on a map. Designer luggage in tow, only to search out the all too familiar Starbuck’s and McDonald’s for comfort and what we really crave—connection—to the familiar buried deep inside —HOME.

What can we expect having chosen to disconnect from living our truth in exchange for the most likes, shares, posts and pins in the hopes of being loved.

A warm summer’s day playlist feels as intoxicating as the breeze when croquet, conversation and camping are all within the scope of life. But we don’t allow ourselves to have the needle in that groove for long. Gradually we start to pick up our devices and search for what’s better, cooler and faster. The lie feels comfortable and seems to distract us from the here and now and the somewhat uncomfortable fit of Be-ing.

Acceptance is the word which makes us feel as though we haven’t given, tried or done enough to create what everyone else has. It is our grace which allows us to accept where we are now and shines the light of understanding. We do not have to be in the same place tomorrow. It is our choice.  We will never have the opportunity if we don’t immediately change the mindset.

The change isn’t from checking more social media posts to compare and compete, as judge and jury, while viewing what others have and you do not. This is a heightened disconnect of magnitude proportion. A volcano that is waiting to erupt, and for many already has.


Reconnect to your goals. The goals you may never discover if you’re too busy watching everyone else live their lives’ online. Your life is meant to be lived, discovered and unearthed moment by moment not watched.

Stop wasting time! The rhetoric has to be quieted so you can grab the thread of your life and begin to put a plan into action. The truest and deepest connection to yourself will allow you to find this also in others. They will magically appear as your soldiers, and you will find yourself willing to give to other noble causes as well. Find your tribe and march together.

This is the truth to the journey of connection. This is the missing piece. Simple-yes. Easy if you are brave enough to put down your devices, cut up those credit cards, shut off the noise and pick up the phone. Go out into the world to explore as you give the gift of connection to yourself. Connection begins when you have the epiphany that you must stand up and stand tall in your truth. Not your partners, parents or other professionals—your own.


The restless discord and cacophony of living someone else’s life, very possibly a stranger’s, ends now—TODAY. Here is your thread to the connection you desire, the path you are ready to walk and the life you deserve to live.

Random acts of kindness are no longer random when given to you. Choose to live in the home of your heart. The simplicity of connecting to the needs of another is done with ease in a heart-centered life.    

Step into your grace as you begin to fill up and feel the truth of wholeness. The wholeness which knows no boundaries to your calling, and how to put the pieces of the puzzle together. What can be tapped for the greatness that is within? There is ease and simplicity in knowing that you are enough, you have it all.

If this resounds please do not be contained by a like, share or comment and instead pick up a phone. Call someone special and make a date to meet in person and play. Commit to connect by looking into another’s eyes as you see their soul. Connection is within your reach at this very moment and the time is now. Take a stand and make the choice to begin Consciously Connecting to your life. Therein lies the truth.   

Universally it’s time to buy into the truth. Connection is the truth and we will commit to look, touch, see and feel!

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