How Did We Ever Survive Our 1970's Christmas?

How Did We Survive Our 1970's Christmas?
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Children of the 1970’s – how did we ever make it through?!

No helmets! No seat belts! Roaming the streets from sun up to sun down on our banana bike seats…unattended!

My loving/loud/wonderful Italian grandmother, who always referred to me simply as “Baby” up until the day she died would have been 98 today. Thinking of her made made me dig out this picture and wonder – how did I ever survive Christmas Day at her house? I mean…just look at the hazards that surround me on my very first Christmas, at ten months old.

Baby is sitting on a table.

Baby could fall! Fall backward and hit her big bald head! Baby could fall off of the table! Everyone knows baby’s do not belong on tables! This is a hazard!

Baby is sitting ridiculously close to open flame.

My God. Get ready to call the fire department. Baby’s big bald head may go up in flames being so close to that candle!

Baby is inches away from booze.

There is a perfect-size-aperitif glass (Oh my God GLASS!) dangerously close to baby’s shoe filled with some strong, Italian liqueur. Be careful baby! Don’t drink that booze baby!

Baby could choke.

Not on the soda, but on that dangly charm on Grandma’s bracelet! Don’t put that charm in your mouth baby!

Baby could get a splinter on that wood paneling.

Look at what surrounds baby...do not let baby touch those walls! My God! Baby will hurt her precious little perfect fingers.

Baby could pull one of those folding chairs down.

Those chairs are metal! What the hell are you thinking Grandma? LOOKOUT FOR BABY!

Baby could grab those glasses.

Baby could:

A) Again, choke.

B) Ruin her eyes. Forever.

WHY IS NO ONE LOOKING OUT FOR BABY?!

Baby is drinking a Coke.

I don’t really think I need to say any more about this…ummm…baby is drinking a Coke.

Baby could reach behind her and grab that pack of cigarettes.

OK, shut her down. Party’s over. Jesus Christ, there are cigarettes within reach of that baby. She could light one up on that candle right there.

Bottom line is that I am unsure of how I am alive to write this today. Must have survived by pure luck. And lots of meatballs. Oh, and my Dad’s cousin John-John who is next to Grandma was a Catholic Priest so maybe that had something to do with it.

So grateful to be a kid who grew up celebrating Christmas in the basement of this house, with all the of hazards, and all of the love in the world.

Lori’s website, Drawn to the ‘80s, is where her 5-year-old drew the hit songs of the 1980’s. Her blog, Once Upon a Product, is where she writes about beauty products and her love of Mick Jagger.

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