Adulting. It’s a term that I see on my newsfeeds all too regularly now. “#adulting”, “How do I adult?”, “Is this what it’s like to be an adult?”,& “You know you’re adulting when”. The fact of the matter is, the the tail end of the millennial generation is literally graduating from one chapter of their lives to the next. We’re packing up our three business casual outfits in our closets filled with t-shirts and pajama pants, retiring our beer pong tables for desks in corporate office buildings, and diving head first into the real world.
I’ve been doing this “adulting” thing for officially one year now. I celebrated my one year anniversary at my job, and I honestly can’t believe where that year has gone. With that, I started thinking about my journey one year out of college and how dramatically different my life and what I care about is. I by no means had any idea I would be where I am today just a year ago when I was tossing my tassel from one side to the next. I started thinking about this transition, and then thinking about the transition of other’s. I realized that what’s so unique is that no two people I know have adulted in the same exact way, proving that maybe there are in fact no set standards for how to be an adult.
So what is a year of adulting really like? I asked several 2015 college graduates about what it means to be “an adult”, where they are now, and most importantly the lessons they have learned along the way.
What has one year of adulting entailed for you?
In one year I retired my old college sorority shirts and started dressing like a normal human being again. I found a job doing marketing for a start up and have been embracing the “Austin startup lifestyle”. I also moved in alone and then with my boyfriend and left the country for the first time and got the flu abroad even though I got my first flu shot this year, so lots of firsts. I can’t drink more than one glass of wine without feeling it the next day. I check all of my mails more, e-mails, snail mails, males.
What has been your major accomplishment and what have you learned?
I helped rebrand a company this year. Like an actual company that is real. This definitely taught me that your job is what you make it. You can go to work every day saying that your job sucks, and it will probably suck if you go in with that mindset. Or you can embrace it and see it as an opportunity to improve your skills and find ways to make your job better for you. If you ask, people are willing to help make the learning experience as beneficial as possible for you.
What’s the hardest part about adulting?
The hardest part of adulting is figuring out balance. You start working 40+ hours a week, which is more time than you ever went to school, and you really just can’t imagine doing anything else. You have to make the time to fit in that workout and not just plop yourself on the couch after a long day. It’s about deciding if you really need that pair of shoes or if you should get ahead on your loan payment. It’s also about making time for yourself and personal projects that you want to work on to break up the monotony of your schedule. Everything is balance and it’s definitely shell shock at first.
What has one year of adulting entailed for you?
I moved into a new apartment without help from my parents. I’m the most financially independent I have ever been.
What have you learned?
Saving is the most important thing that you can do at this point of your life. Prioritizing money properly can go a long way. As much as this stage forces you to be independent, the fact of the matter is that you can’t do it alone. I recognize that I’m lucky, because I see a lot of people wanting to be at this stage in my life and I realize that it’s not easy. It makes me want to help other people in anyway possible to get to that step because no one got to the top without support from someone. It means a lot in this stage.
What’s the hardest part about adulting?
Having actual responsibilities. I can’t just wake up, see that it’s raining, roll over and decide not to go to work like I would in college. Having to get used to not being able to opt out of class is hard. You don’t have a choice. You have to go to work because it’s your job, and if you don’t go well then you aren’t going to get paid. It definitely takes some getting used to.
What has one year of adulting entailed for you?
I started off being unemployed for two months out of college, worrying that I’d have to move back home, then landing a job with $100 left in my bank account. Since then, working at and loving my job, doing shit like my own taxes, buying furniture, and shopping for a car. Oh, also, starting my 401K and picking company health care plans that “are best suited to my needs.”
What has been your major accomplishment and what have you learned?
Finding a job I enjoy, rather than a job that might pay me a little more. If you’re good at something, and you enjoy doing it, money will come. Maybe not as much as doing something that doesn’t interest you, but your bosses will take notice and value your abilities far more. It’s not worth the ten extra grand a year to be miserable all the time.
What’s the hardest part about adulting?
Saying goodbye to other friends that are adulting. All your college friends? They’re going to move away. Sometimes, it’s an inconvenient 25 minutes away from downtown. Most times, it’s to another town, or another state, or another country entirely. This is the most bullshit part of adulting.
What has one year of adulting entailed for you?
Year one has been a mixture of many new things for me: my first time to leave the country, learning a new language, adapting to a new culture, getting a job, making/ managing money and traveling.
What has been your major accomplishment and what have you learned?
Professionally, I’m most proud of the success and love I’ve developed for my job (teaching). I’ve learned new things that I didn’t even know I needed to learn. In the U.S., I think so many people are accustomed to the fast paced and work driven lifestyle because that’s how we’re brought up. But the whole world doesn’t function that same way. Living in Spain has exposed me to their culture, but I’ve also made friends from all over the world, and I’ve learned about their cultures too. That’s been the most important thing to me.
What’s the hardest part about adulting?
The hardest part is the uncertainty, the not knowing what step or move or job to take next. I’ve got lots of interests, many of which don’t overlap and cannot coexist. For example, I’ve been in Spain for 13 months and I love it here. I love everything about it, down to the smallest detail. But I also love my family and friends back home, and I feel drawn to live in both places. There’s no clear-cut answer as to the path to take through adulthood, and that’s overwhelming and stressful at times.
What has one year of adulting entailed for?
One year of adulting has meant two jobs in the industry I want to work in, two apartments, four roommates, two cats and learning how to be okay with having credit card debt.
What has been your biggest accomplishment and what have you learned?
My major accomplishment has been being able to have jobs in my industry that I have felt I’ve done well at. At both jobs I was asked for my input and created lasting relationships with my bosses and colleagues.
What’s the hardest part about adulting?
The hardest part of adulting is actually being an adult. Also not having your parents there or a community like you did in college ― having to really, truly fend for yourself.
What has one year of adulting entailed for you?
My first year of adulting has been full of change! Less than a week after graduation I moved to Washington, DC, which was huge for me. This was my first time being far away from my closest family. I was really homesick for about six months, and I’m still homesick, but it’s gotten a lot better.
I started my first real full-time job! I hated it at first because I was bored, not challenged, and felt like it wasn’t contributing to my future. It felt temporary, and I was confused about what I wanted for a career. But then, I was promoted, moved into a different department, and I actually really like my job. It confirmed my career pick, I make more money, I’m in awe of the people and clients I work with, and I’m happy.
I became 100% financially independent immediately upon graduation. Which is very cool.
I’ve studied for the LSAT 12+ hours a week since January, which means I’ve had less of a social life than I’d like to admit.
I also moved in with my boyfriend, which is way more adult than I imagined I’d be at 22.
I’ve wanted a dog since day 1 of graduating, and haven’t been able to commit (it’s a lot of work taking a dog out from an apartment building...)
I’ve learned to cook, mildly. I’ve become neurotic about chores and cleaning.
I’ve started to read for pleasure again, something that sort of ceased in college, and I’m so happy about it.
I’ve traveled! To Germany, Austria, the Czech Republic, Chicago (twice), back to Austin (twice), and Boston.
I have less free time than I’ve ever had, which means I watch way less TV than I probably ever have.
What’s the hardest part about adulting?
Honestly I think the hardest part of being an adult is getting used to not looking toward the next thing. Up until this point, you’re always looking toward the next thing - middle school, high school, college. Once you’re set and in a job, of course there are other things to look forward to like promotions, or personal things like buying a house or going on vacation or having kids, but there’s no ‘automatic’ next thing anymore. Getting comfortable with that was really hard for me. I honestly didn’t feel happy or settled until I decided I was going to law school because I didn’t have anything to work towards or aspire to.
Oh, and the fact that “Sunday” means working out, going to the grocery store, and cleaning the apartment really sucks too.
What has been your major accomplishment and what have you learned?
On top of being really proud of myself for moving to an entirely new place and learning to be resilient, I’m actually really proud of myself for taking the LSAT. I didn’t get the score I wanted the first time, but I’ve never lost motivation. At first, 4+ months of intense studying sounded like something I’d never be able to accomplish. Once I committed and did it, though, it’s something I actually got through entirely by myself. Every night after a long day of work, I had to make the choice to sit down and study. I forced myself to take practice tests on Saturday mornings. While this wasn’t something I enjoyed doing, I learned to understand that my future is entirely in my hands, and while I think I learned some of this in college, somehow this was different. I didn’t have a class to attend or a professor to impress. It was all me. And I’m proud of myself for not giving up when the result wasn’t what I wanted. It’s hard not to feel discouraged when you work hard and don’t see the results you want, but I guess that’s part of being an adult too. You learn to just keep moving forward.
What has one year of adulting entailed for you?
I could simply state that one year of adulting has gotten me a one bedroom apartment to myself, an executive level Costco membership, and a year long wine club subscription to Grape Creek winery. Honestly those perks are nice, but nothing beats the impact adulting has had on how much more I value the means in which I got them. Living on my own was never really a necessity of mine, but it sure does mean a lot more to me than I thought. I had always lived in the same house my entire life with the same three people and never knew anything else. But as an adult, I value being on my own and watching my novelas and eating my insufficient and unbalanced meals on my own time. A single person honestly does not need a Costco membership (let alone an Executive level membership), but I’ve found a way to make it worth the investment. My bougie La Croix waters and Power Up trail mix bought in bulk don’t even last a week in my apartment. Add on top of that the yearly cash back I get back on all my purchases, I believe that’s what you call, Value. A year of being an adult has taught me so much and has even reminded me of how much more I should have valued my parents when they fully supported me back in the day, but that’s definitely another segment.
What has been your major accomplishment and what have you learned?
I finally decided, after almost two years, to re-enter the world of higher education and begin studying for my MBA. I’m honestly a bit nervous, but I know it will all be fine and the next thirty credit hours will go by in the blink of an eye. Deciding to go back has taught me that that I’m not as lazy as I thought I was. Focusing on graduate studies and a full time job won’t be easy but if I made the leap then I’m obviously in it for the stretch. I can’t wait to be finished, but I’m ready for the journey and the daily struggle.
What’s the hardest part about adulting?
What I find so hard about adulting is all the sacrifice. Whether it be sacrificing time for responsibilities, money for bills, or even food for lunch the next day. I’m not saying all sacrifices are bad, but if you think about it when you’re an adult you are faced with a lot. As a child the hardest sacrifice was giving up time to play basketball outside in order to play on the PlayStation inside. Even then you played basketball on the PlayStation and all was well. As an adult, you maybe stay two hours late at work when you could be hanging with friends because you know it’ll be worth it when you can afford that ticket to see Adele in concert. I’m actually proud of how responsible I’ve been when it comes to looking out for my priorities, but it does get sad sometimes thinking about what I do give up.
What has one year of adulting entailed for you?
Well, I left one expensive and challenging safety net of education for an even more expensive and challenging safety net of education. This past year has been mentally exhausting. I feel as though I have still not entered adulthood. In fact, I’ve regressed. Medical school is high school 5.0. It’s just as immature as high school and it comes with the expectation that you are “professional.” You see the same 200 people every single day. It’s not even a 5A high school. It’s 2A. Also unlike high school, everyone is smart. You can’t get an edge. So I guess one year of adulting has made me into more of a child in some regards. A stupid child at that.
What has been your major accomplishment and what have you learned?
My greatest accomplishment since graduating from undergrad has been sleeping my way to the top (JK I wish). Instead of sleeping my way to the top, I passed my first year of medical school, while still staying sane (I think). I’ve learned A LOT this past year―especially how fragile the human body is and how susceptible it is and how much it can fuck up. But the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that the worst someone can say to you is ‘no.’ I mean, people can call you all sorts of ugly things, but that’s not my point. My point is that you shouldn’t be afraid to ask anyone for anything. People get to places in life by asking. I think being independent and doing things by your own accord are wonderful, but there comes a point when you can’t do everything on your own. It’s best to ask and trust others to do what they do. The worst they can say is ‘no.’
What’s the hardest part about adulting?
Growing the fuck up. Change is really, really, really hard. As you adult, or as you age, things around you change, and gradually you will as well. However, a large part of adulting is also drastic change. For instance, a death in the family. Things like this happen all the time to everybody. It has happened to me, and it will happen to you. Change, death, life, it’s all a part of living, or dying (glass half full or empty?). I think part of “adulting” is trying to view negative things in a positive light as well. Which is really really really fucking difficult at times. But at the end of the day, the world keeps going, and you can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it (to a point, because mental illness is a real thing).
There is no one right way to adult. While we associate the beginning of adulthood with graduating from college, it’s important to keep in mind that adulting doesn’t start for everyone that way. What I’ve decided? #Adulting is all just a mindset. You have the power to decide when you’re ready for that next step. To assume responsibility. Tackle unchartered waters. Do something that terrifies you. Take initiative. A college diploma doesn’t make you an adult. If anything it’s only a reminder that you have technically been an adult since you were 18, and adulting in fact started then. Everything is what you make it. There’s no wrong way to get started. It’s your life and your future and deciding what that will entail is in fact what makes you an adult.
Have an experience with adulting you want to share? Drop them in the comments below!