Writing a love letter or saying ‘I love you’ to any person who behaves in a racist, classist, xenophobic, misogynistic, separatist way, in their speech and action is a practice: a practice of love in action. When this person has the power to cause harm to not only the individuals they come in direct contact with but to large populations and countries, this adds another layer to practice with.
In our own families there certainly are individuals who behave in these ways. In our circle of friends, co-workers, classmates we also meet these behaviors. In our own selves we sometimes meet these behaviors, when we are tired, fearful, angry or have not looked into our ways of thinking and behaving and taken the time to transform them. Noting these behaviors in ourselves and finding compassionate and skillful means to understand, reconcile, and change such harmful behaviors first requires seeing them. Often it takes others to point them out to us and still we are unable or unwilling to find the means to change, until we see them for ourselves. But in the midst of these unsavory behaviors we still manage to squeeze some love and kindness into these complicated relationships with ourselves and those we are surrounded by.
So how do we transfer this same type of give and take, this empathy, to the president-Russia-influenced/electoral college-elect of the United States of America? A person who by all apparent record has consistently and rigidly behaved in a way that causes harm and shown no attempt to reconcile such harm? How does one show kindness to Mr. Trump and his supporters? How does one not respond with hatred and violence to hatred and violence? How does one write words, based in generosity and friendliness to such a person?
Perhaps a first step is to acknowledge that the behaviors of the person are different from the person. Dr. King said our enemies are not racist people but the racist system. Understanding the difference between Mr. Trump the person and the pattern of behaviors this person enacts and encourages, and the systems in place that support such behaviors will be helpful. Recognizing that people make up systems and either continue to entrench these systems by acting in line with them, or change them by challenging them and acting contradictory in ways that bring equity is equally important. The systems that have perpetuated hatred and oppression based on race, gender, class, sexuality, place of birth, language, spirituality, size, age, and mental and physical ability shaped the perceptions and behaviors of Mr. Trump. He benefited from and continues to benefit from these systems of power and his benefit comes at a cost to those exploited by these institutionalized systems of oppression. How do we change these patterns of behavior on steroids, Trumpism? How do we resist the violence perpetuated in this era of Trumpism? How do we change systems of oppression [not a new question] that reproduce themselves through the people who benefit from and propagate such systems?
We take care of ourselves [not a new answer].
This is a second step in saying ‘I love you’ in Trumpism: remaining diligent to our own needs to know when we must take care of ourselves so we have that spaciousness to distinguish the person, the behavior, and the system. This means recognizing what we are holding inside our minds and hearts when our ideas of love and justice differ from the person who speaks and acts contradictory to our notions. But we need to take the time to know ourselves, to see how our minds work, to notice when we’re about to say something we may regret later, and why we are saying it. When we can observe ourselves we can assure that our thoughts, words, and actions come from a skillful place. We must take the time to listen to ourselves so we can listen to others like us, and those unlike us. Taking the time to cultivate love and presence inside, watering our seeds of joy, equanimity, compassion, kindness to hold and protect us from the violence inflicted by the actions of a Trump era is important. This takes time and practice, this practice of love in action. It requires us to stop, be still, and come back home to something that steadies us; something like the breath, simply coming in and going out. Are we brave enough to stop? Or do we think that Trumpism is so devastating that we have no time to stop? That’s exactly why we must stop and quiet the mind. The more devastating it is outside of us, the more steadiness, solidity, calm and ease we must cultivate inside of us. We must generate such a powerful collective energy of calm and steadiness that it can balance the chaos, violence, and hatred swirling around us. Out of this solidity comes compassion to be present with the daily onslaught of violence which makes us tired and wears us down, depletes the spaciousness inside. So we have to find the time to fill up on joy; we have to gladden our mind so we make decisions that enable the spaciousness to take care of ourselves and offer empathy to others. This may include enough time to rest and sleep, exercise, meditate/reflect, eat foods that are healthy, spend time with friends and family.
Perhaps this second step is the most important step as it allows us to distinguish the person from the behavior and recognize our role in acting for peace and justice for all. This space for deep listening to ourselves allows a deep listening and seeing of others.
A third step is to speak truth and act for change. Because when those with power and privilege act heedlessly with the lives of those without privilege, it is our duty to step in and stop that; it is our duty to seek freedom from harm for ourselves and others, love in action. This truth would include acknowledging that the behaviors of Donald Trump can lead us to becoming a more segregated nation, racially and economically. While at times his words suggest an understanding for the need for unity in the US, the inconsistency of behavior keeps us questioning his integrity. Today, many of these hearts with political and economic power remain steady in their conviction that economic power in the hands of few and white power is necessary and sufficient to skillfully lead a country toward peace, prosperity, and happiness for all. This is our history and this is the dogma, the norm, that many believe. This ideology, and the systems which support and perpetuate resulting behavior is not friendly and kind toward everyone because it does not include the voices of groups without institutional power. It is not truthful because it must embellish and deceive when questioned about behaviors contrary to representative democracy. And it shows no empathy for others who experience life in a different way from those with power. There is no generosity and friendliness in these systems and behaviors. Speaking the truth of how our current systems exploit the marginalized and vulnerable and acting to change them is love in action for all.
A fourth step in acting out of love is recognizing and divesting ourselves of privilege that harms. This is an act of love. Speaking the truth of privilege and how this has allowed Mr. Trump to be heedless to the needs of others is important in unpacking privilege. His appointees also bring much privilege and history of heedless behavior toward those in marginalized groups. Privilege which benefits one person or one group at the risk of harming others is neither friendly nor generous. It is selfish and exploitative. Looking deeply into this we can see the teachings of cause and effect of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh: ‘I’m like this because you’re like that; you’re like that because I’m like this’. It reminds us of the nature of interconnectedness or interbeing. If we all committed to looking into and recognizing the voluntary and involuntary privilege we hold and consciously attempt to dis-invest ourselves from privilege that harms, we could change this world. Imagine if all white people and wealthy people recognized their privilege and dis-invested themselves from this? Now this would be the revolution that Dr. King called us to engage in more than 50 years ago to end racial injustice and its inseparable twin economic injustice.
The Women’s March on Washington on Saturday January 21, 2017, the day after the inauguration of Mr. Trump as the president of the United States, can be another revolutionary step of love in action. Join other mindfulness practitioners as we practice marching meditation as a collective in solidarity and power for love and justice. Let this be your ‘I love you’ in the era of Trumpism as we create a buffer of love in action that can resist the divisiveness and violence of Trumpism. And let our love be powerful enough, on this day and every day, to organize for justice, question and disable this reign of terror, and move us toward peace, equity, and recognition of our connectedness.
