How are gender roles in parenting evolving in the 21st century, and what still needs to happen? originally appeared on Quora - the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.
There's been a revolution. I speak to this in the opening paragraph of All In. You can see it here. Dads today are involved from the very beginning, like never before. Dads want to share parenting responsibilities. The overwhelming majority of dads value family way over money. (This does not mean we're any less good employees than men of the past. It means we're great multi-taskers!)
But our laws, policies, and stigmas haven't kept up with reality. They're designed as gender police, pushing women to stay home and pushing men to stay at work. One of many examples is the "hours stigma." It's proven: Men get raised up the ranks for sitting at their desks more often -- not for getting more work done! Because top business leaders fall into the extremely tiny minority of men who believe men should value work over money.
To get past this, we need to establish real, functional gender equality in the workplace. I travel to businesses and do events and workshops. The results are incredible. For the first time, men open up about their struggles -- and they surprise their female colleagues. To fix the dichotomy between egalitarian family life and outdated gender norms at work, we need to be able to speak about it. And we need a big reality check about how dads fit in!