Relaxing and unwinding is about being in a chilled out state as much as you possibly can through out your day, rather than having to take time out to do it as a reaction from the rest of your day, which you have decided to make stressful. So here are a few ways in which you can stay permanently calm regardless of what you are going through and what is going on around you.
Tip 1: Change Your Language: The every day language that you use will govern whether you see life as exciting or frightening, easy or hard, effortless or worrying. If you go through life as if it's a struggle and you wake up to 'battle a new day' or you think people are 'out to get you', your body is going to be in a heightened stressed state, thinking that it is at war. Perhaps if you take the time to become a bit more conscious of the words that come out of your mouth to describe your experiences then you will be aware of whether you need to start to use words that relax and excite you, rather than those that have you in a state of constant defense.
Tip 2: Let Go Of Tension: Every now and again in the day check in to your body and notice where you are holding tension. Could your shoulders be more relaxed? Could your jaw loosen its grip? Could you perhaps breathe a bit more deeply? If you are aware of where you hold your stress, you can direct your attention to those places in order to let go of it.
Tip 3: Be Present, Now: At the same time that you notice where you are holding tension, take your mind from the past and out of the future and become a bit more present to what is happening around you. Listen to three noises you are hearing right now as you read this and notice three colors that you see in front of you. If you really want to know where you are, then take a look at your feet, as where your feet are, is where you are.
Tip 4: Let It Go: Let your thoughts and feelings pass in and out of you, because they are always changing. The more you can let go of being attached to them, the better. They are not who you are, you have them. So, if you feel mad, let it go quickly, if you feel anxiety, release it and move on. Remember, that when you react to something that happens, after the incident is over you are reacting to the memory of it, not the actual incident itself. So let it go!
Tip 5: Happiness vs. Achievement: Do not mix up having a sense of achievement of reaching your goals and your ability to be happy and calm regardless of whether you have or haven't. It's important to have goals in life, as it's exciting to work towards reaching them. But be a bit patient and don't let the fact that you might not have reached them yet suspend your ability to be happy and stress-free every day. Be happy, regardless of where you are on your journey, because if you are waiting to reach a goal before you decide to enjoy your life, then you will look back and notice that you have wasted most of it.
That's it for this week. Some of you may have noticed that I disappeared off the Huffington Post for a few months. I have now started to do regular 'howhappyis' television segments on the KTLA morning television show and have completed my website which I would love you to visit at howhappyis.com, where you can read many more articles, watch the KTLA videos, make contact with me, ask any questions and sign up for a monthly newsletter. I look forward to hearing from you. Love Sophie x