It is so easy to carry around unexpressed emotions, especially if you grew up in a family who used impregnated silences in a passive aggressive way to say or, rather, to not say, that you are mad with each other. Non-communication is the biggest cause of upset. Relationships break up over of it and wars start because of it. However, if you can learn to communicate in a balanced way, two individuals, in their right minds, can always come to an agreement. Here are some reasons why you want to let it all out immediately, regardless of what you've been used to.
1. Looking Younger: If you are someone who has many internal conversations in your head, as if the person that you're not clear with is there, it is a sure sign that you have something to say and you need to say it. An over load of negative internal chatter can really create deep lines on your face and make you look older than you really are. So pluck up the courage and express what you need to, in a balanced way, and you might find you will look younger as the lines begin to soften.
2. Over Reacting: If you do not have the guts to express yourself clearly the first time an issue comes up with one person, the next time the same problem rears its head with them or someone else, you will probably find that you over react, as your lack of communication, in the first place, has compacted over time. Try to be honest and clear with everyone as you go, so you don't offload all your pent up emotions on to the next person who pushes the same button.
3. Impact on Your Body: Maybe you clench your jaw when you're angry, or you have a habit of hunching your shoulder, as if you are carrying the world on your back. Whatever you do, these suppressed emotions have a way of lodging themselves internally and creating more and more of a negative impact on your body. If they remain unexpressed for a long period of time, they can really take their toll and ultimately cause long-term aches and pains. So, if you have an ailment and you think the possible cause might have to do with something that you haven't said or cleared, then you need to think of a way of expressing yourself, as this could very possibly help heal your body as well.
4. Exaggerating: Unexpressed communication can cause an enormous amount of internal chatter. If you mull over the conversation endless times in your mind, it has a tendency to twist and turn, and like Chinese whispers it can easily change form, so that what the person really said, compared to what you now think they said, is actually totally different. You have to be careful, in this instance, not to turn a little incident that needed talking about, in the moment, in to a huge, drawn out drama.
5. Giving Praise: If you have positive thoughts about someone, don't just think it or assume that the other person knows how you feel about them already, make sure you tell them. Everyone likes to be appreciated, loved and complimented and you can bring a huge amount of joy to someone by giving praise. Everyone loves to feel valued.
That's it for this week and if you want to contact me please do so at sophie@howhappyis.com.