This morning, I woke up in London at 4:10 AM and received a text message giving condolences. Hugh Hefner, the iconic founder and editor-in-chief of Playboy magazine and one of the biggest influences on my personal and professional life had passed away.
My heart sank.
When most people think of Hef, they think of the semi-attractive man (and then older man and finally old man) surrounded by dozens of beautiful women wearing tightly tailored bunny suits.
What I think of is the authentic, talented, revolutionary genius who dared to dream big (and then bigger) and worked day and night to build a rich literary magazine that gave permission to all men and women to express their sexual desires and enjoy their lives.
I think of the passionate civil rights activist who booked black artists such as Lenny Bruce and Sammy Davis, Jr. on his shows, Playboy Penthouse and Playboy After Dark (leading to its cancellation of the former) when no other host would. I admire the business owner who bought back franchises of his famed Playboy Clubs at a deep loss when he found out the owners were not allowing black members in.
I think of the heterosexual man who openly took a stand for gay rights at a time when homophobia permeated most every corner of society and an editor who championed freedom and liberalization for all people in his iconic Playboy Philosophy essays which ran from December 1962 to May 1965.
I think of the human being who spoke openly about how pregnancy out of wedlock came with a huge social stigma for woman and even led to people committing suicide and the unintentional death of women in times when abortions were not available. The man who fought on behalf of Roe VS Wade and to get the pill approved and made available to women all over the country.
As a writer and editor with a love of great visuals and groundbreaking editorial, I can say (and have always said) that there was no greater magazine put out than Playboy from 1953-1980. Passionate about Jazz, classic films, great stories and beautiful women, he showcased some of the most disruptive writers in history including Jack Kerouac, Margaret Atwood, and Norman Mailer. The game-changing Playboy Interview which showcased in-depth, meaningful discussions with artists, singers, actors, writers and political leaders such as Fidel Castro and Jimmy Carter who famously admitted that he had committed adultery in his heart in the interview.
Though, over time, he was pigeonholed into a bit of a caricature of himself (the sexy pipe and robe becoming the go-to for white college guys with no imagination around Halloween), the real Hugh Hefner was an incurable romantic who was proudly faithful in his three marriages and passionate about transparency in all relationships. One of my favourite interviews had him discussing fidelity and respect. "Cheating is about the lie and I don’t lie to my partners. I don't lie about who I am," he said.
In the 1953 inaugural issue of The Playboy, he discussed the kind of men who would be welcomed into the Playboy tribe, highlighting a kind of courtship nearly every woman on Tinder would swipe right for. “We enjoy mixing up cocktails and an hors-d'oeuvre or two, putting a little mood music on the phonograph, and inviting in a female acquaintance for a quiet discussion on Picasso, Nietzsche, jazz, sex,” Hefner wrote. His passion for “the good life”, one full of passionate work, authenticity, love, laughter, good conversation, food, drink, culture and great sex was so alluring to me that I found myself stating his name when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I even had a very stuffy date storm out in the middle of an impassioned conversation where I shamelessly announced that I saw nothing wrong with his lifestyle. “Listen, I want a monogamous relationship, if it’s real, but why wouldn’t I want to be surrounded by gorgeous, intelligent men and enjoy the many benefits that come with their unique traits?”
I am a proud feminist who admires Hefner's passion for humanism, equality, and authenticity. I admire the defiant attitude towards bigotry and hypocrisy he showcased throughout his life and his tireless pursuit to bring freedom of thought, expression, and sexuality to the door of every American in a time when the country was being suffocated by bigotry and fear. Hefner was not afraid of losing money, readers, friends or his liberty (he willingly got arrested) in order to fight for what he believed was right.
Having had the opportunity to meet the man I have followed most of my life (yes, I snuck Playboy to read the articles and copy playmate makeup application at a young age), I can say that he was a charming, intelligent and lovely man who had that wonderful, sparkling energy that makes everyone in the room fall in love with him.
He was the founder of the first lifestyle brand, a genius editor, a revolutionary, a romantic, a fierce supporter of human rights and he changed the world.
Rest in peace, Mr. Hefner.
Photo courtesy of Playboy.com