Never in a million years did I think I would become a woman. Never in a million years did I think I'd wear a sexy dress and actually own it. For a long time, I kept pushing away womanhood because I saw myself as unworthy of that title. Now I am embracing my title more than ever; I can finally say out loud, "Damn, I actually like being a woman!" Finally, I like what I see when I look in the mirror. This transformation occurred in a matter of months due to unforeseen circumstances.
Through it all, I have learned that my happiness is my strength. With that being said, I cannot afford to be passive and miss opportunities to grow. Before, I used to shy away from standing up for myself because I didn't want to rock the boat. It heavily weighed on my self-esteem because I wasn't being true to myself. But, I had to go through a rough patch until I became aware that I had the power to change my life. Today, I am better at voicing my opinion and I do not suppress my feelings as much anymore. I don't beat myself up for being too emotional and too open with my feelings. I just live my life as transparently as possible since I hate not living in my truth.
I listen to my parents more, too. The best advice I could've ever gotten was "Stop caring what people think. People are going to be people." My dad told me that and it sticks with me to this day. Every day I get up with the intent to make myself happy. I find that when I am genuinely happy, I attract positive vibes. Always caring what the next person may think or say makes you fall into a trap. You become way too concerned with superficial things that do not spiritually nurture you. And, you grow too dependent on people. When in reality, people will always fail you. That's life, boo.
As you can see, I had to get rid of all the toxic relationships in my life in order for me to start relying on my intuition. I had to cry myself to sleep some nights, but it was all worth it. And, who knew that at 18, a heartbreak later, and at the end of my fall semester, I would look up and be the person I always wanted to be-a woman who knows her worth, is content with her flaws, acknowledges her beauty daily, and is ready to embark on a whole new journey? That doesn't mean she is immune to making mistakes nor does it mean she is incapable of change. Remember, every day should be a new day to become someone better than who you are. Trust, I am forever evolving.