"It's not about the cards you're dealt, but how you play the hand." ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
Growing up, life wasn't exactly easy and it never felt fair. While my childhood was mostly positive, it was constantly overshadowed with a gray cloud.
And that cloud was heavy, with family drama and financial setbacks that were a constant stress. It always felt like so much to deal with in my younger years.
The reality is, we don't get to choose the cards we're dealt. But we do have the ability to play the hand how we want.
This is something I didn't realize until just a few years ago. While I was happy with my life, there were certain aspects of it that I accepted, believing it had to do with the cards of life I was dealt.
This included beliefs like:
I'll never find long-lasting love, and I don't deserve it. I come from a broken home, a family of divorce, and no one will want to deal with someone like me.
I'll never make a lot of money. I didn't grow up with money, and it's always been a struggle, so why would my luck change now? I'm not one of those "rich" people.
I'm not smart or good enough of a person to make a difference in people's lives. I've been through too much shit, so how could I really be there for others?
These beliefs may sound harsh, but they were true for me for a very long time. It took a lot of inner work to realize that these were just beliefs and did not have to be my reality. That even though some of the cards I was dealt in life seemed like a lousy hand, it didn't mean I couldn't play that hand the best way possible.
So I began to look at my cards differently. I started to have more awareness and realized that the cards I was dealt in life were actually going to help me. These new realizations included:
Because I've been through so much heartache in my family, I have immeasurable strength and wisdom. I have a lot to give in a relationship. And no matter what, I AM enough and worthy of great love.
Because money was such a struggle, I learned how to hustle at a young age to make ends meet. I have more money skills and know-how than I give myself credit for, and because of this, I can create the wealth I want.
Because I've been through so much in life, I have the empathy to be there and really hear others and what they're going through. I can relate to so many people because I've experienced so many things in life already.
And once I realized how to change my beliefs, my life changed.
Today I have all those things I didn't believe I could have. I have a beautiful relationship, I make more money than I ever imagined I would, and I have helped others achieve goals and change their life, too.
All in all, I looked at the cards I was dealt and decided to not let them control my life any longer. I learned to think about them in new ways, and with this knowledge began to reshape my life and play my hand the best way possible.
Take a look at the cards you've been dealt in life -- the ones out of your control. How can you play your hand the best way possible, and make the most of it? Share below!
Sarah Bogdanski is an NYU Certified Coach in New York City. Go to her website to sign up for free life & career tips and inspiration.