Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Season 8, Episode 16 of CBS' "How I Met Your Mother," titled "Bad Crazy."
While everyone was busy talking about Mike Tyson's controversial guest appearance on "Law & Order: SVU," he was busy planning another onscreen cameo, this time on "HIMYM." Look at him go.
Two major plot lines moved this episode along: one that flirted with madness, the other, with sanity. Or something to that effect. One thing is certain though -- we are heading in the right direction. In the opener, Ted promises his kids that Jeanette was the last girl he dated before he met their mother. To which I say: about freakin' time.
As we gleaned from last week's Robin Daggers episode, Jeanette is major cray. She has stalked Ted ever since he appeared on the cover of New York mag and she is not one to let go now. In all fairness, neither is Ted.
But let's backtrack.
Ted reminisces about the awesome years he spent as a single guy in New York. Jeanette, with her beer bottle throwing, yelling at the TV, séance-ing Marilyn Monroe ways, made him realize it's time to settle down. No more dating, he says. And this time he means it.
The trusty bunch tries to convince him it's time to let her go (Barney even brings an antique Swiss cuckoo clock as prop) but Ted is pretty sure they just want to keep their club house. As it turns out, his apartment is where Barney and Marshall store the things Lily and Robin don't let them keep around, i.e. an arcade machine, a canoe, and a horse. Ted is adamant about splitting from the psycho and he's determined to do it in a public place, to make sure she doesn't flip out. Meanwhile, we realize the secondary plotline of the night: Robin, with her baby phobia, managed to let eight months go by without holding baby Marvin once. But is it an actual fear of infants or more like the fear of missing out, since she can't have children of her own?
Ted takes Jeanette to a game at Barclay Center in hopes of saying "bye bye." We think he gets away with it (after all, she does scream that she hates him and never wants to see him again after he innocently asks to talk), but later learn that he hasn't really. While Barney and Marshall spend an afternoon at Ted's place, Jeanette drops by. Despite explicit orders not to let her in ("the girl is like bed bugs. Once she's in, there's no getting her out"), the two screaming ladies cave. And what does crazy do? She barricades herself in Ted's room. She can easily sustain herself on Ted's stocked up food, water, and mini porta potty, all of which he acquired after Hurricane Sandy.
As the secondary plot unfolds, Robin is left with crying baby Marvin in his stroller when Lily runs after the bus they just took and on which she forgot her son's binky. To spare you in case you missed the episode and to spare you from going through it again in case you didn't, this scene is now reconstructed five times well into the future. In each flash forward we see Robin - who looks AH-MAZING -- and Lily meeting over wine and catching up on how time flies, when Robin lets bits and pieces of that fateful binky day unravel.
At first she tells Lily an old lady came out of the laundry shop and rocked baby Marvin calm when Robin clearly couldn't. Then we find out the stroller rolled out into traffic as Robin wasn't looking for a sec. Then we find out Robin and ... hmm, let's call her Mrs. Doubtfire, go hang in a strip joint because it's quite chilly outside. Then we find out that Robin leaves Mrs. Doubtfire alone with Marvin while she goes to the bathroom. At the end, 17 years into the future, Robin finally lets the cat out of the bag: the nice old lady wasn't a woman, but rather Mike Tyson. Or Senator Mike Tyson, as he is referred to 17 years from now. There's a blank stare emoticon for moments like these.
Back in Ted's apartment, the testosterone trio desperately tries to pull Jeanette out of his bedroom. Ted even calls the cops only to learn Jeanette is a cop, and she's answered her own domestic incident report. Barney duly notes Ted has to move out. It's Jeanette's place now.
But Ted is never one to give up, so he suits up (!) in a hazard suit meets ninja turtles costume meets stormtrooper attire and heads upstairs to defend his honor, reclaim his ground, and get his allergy medication. On his way up he casually mentions that, although craaaa-aa-zy, Jeanette is not completely off about being in his apartment. He's not sure they actually broke up. After she accused him of being in love with Lily, what with "her medical degree and sexy Southern drawl," they got kicked out of Barclay Center. It's all very confusing.
Next thing we know, Ted rolls down the stairs, wondering how no one heard him scream. Robin tells him she consulted her wise old lady friend and she said that when a guy sends mixed signals, it takes a toll on the psychological well-being of the girl. In other words, Jeanette may be loony, but Ted is just as much to blame. We then discover that Jeanette's rant at the Barclay Center ended in a passionate kiss, and that when Ted stormed into his room she caught him off guard wearing his "sexy" red boots and he was putty in her madwoman hands. Yep, Ted sent Jeanette mixed signals. But Lily, ever the wise one, gives him a pass. He's allowed some crazy. He's in a pretty insane place in his life as well.
While all this goes on, Robin somehow ends up with Marvin in her arms ("Oh my god, I'm holding it. I'm holding the baby"). Terrified and exhilarated, she refuses to let him go. Last we see of her, it's 3 in the morning and Lily is urging her to go home. She can't. Or won't. Any bets on what Barney and Robin are going to talk about next week?
"How I Met Your Mother" airs Mondays at 8 p.m. EST on CBS.