Just when you think you have everyone settled into a great morning routine, you get to think again.
As kids get older and more independent, they have their own ideas about how they want to do things, or not do things in getting ready for school. There are always lost shoes, library books, and papers.
Kids probably get just as tired of hearing us hound them about the same things over and over, just as much as we get tired of saying them over and over.
I have a second grade boy that wants to play all morning, at full volume and speed, with his younger brother as opposed to getting ready for school in the morning. That tugs at my heart strings, because I want them to enjoy play time together, but if I let that go for very long, he'll never get to school on time.
I have a short list on the wall close to where he eats breakfast that lists out what his job is in the morning. He clears his breakfast dishes, puts dirty clothes in the laundry and gets packed up and ready for school.
He did really well for a while, but it would all eventually start to fall apart again. We have changed strategies several times.
One morning I had had it, and I laid into him pretty hard expressing my disappointment that we still couldn't get this issue resolved. He didn't seem overly concerned, so I enlisted the help of his dad, and his stern booming voice caused him to get upset and start to cry. And he lost his electronics privileges for the evening.
A punishment was in order, but we didn't handle it the best way. I yelled. My husband yelled. And my toddler even started just yelling at random because he was imitating me. It was terrible.
So of course a few minutes later, it was time to get him outside on the school bus. He and I walked down the driveway, his tears still falling. I was still angry with him, but I bit my tongue.
The bus was a few stops down and headed our way. We were both upset, and I just couldn't leave things as they were.
I got down to face level and looked in his eyes. My voice cracked, but I managed to say: "I love you no matter what. And daddy loves you no matter what. That never changes. We did not have a good morning, but we can all still go on and have a good day. And we will all try again tomorrow."
I could tell he was relieved and he relaxed a little bit. I was still upset, but I'm glad I said it. We gave each other a big hug as the bus pulled up. The doors opened, and he ran on like he usually does. I knew he was okay and he would have a good day.
I think it's important to stay connected to our kids and reassure them that they are still loved no matter what. It is especially effective in the heat of the moment. Who wouldn't want that extra reassurance after so much tension? Leaving things as they were could have been a black cloud over all of our days.
I wasn't proud of that morning. I'm sure we all could've handled it better. But after we got back on track with reassurance and a big hug, I was able to relax, take a deep breath, and have a good day too. We will regroup and figure this out.
Family life gets messy, but we are okay. We still love each other very much, and we will all try again tomorrow.