Giving up "hating my body" was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I was just so "sick and tired of being sick and tired" of hating my body. I realized that I did not like my body more at a size 2 than I did at a size 26 wide; either way I was obsessed about my body size and weight, and I never thought I was thin enough, even at the size 2, all of which made me finally realize how I felt about myself was never really about my body size, although I thought it was, but it wasn't.
I started to realize that I had to be able to see myself beyond the size of my body. I had to start to see myself as more than my body size. I had to see that I was a unique person, with my own thoughts, ideas, likes, dislikes, life experiences, life circumstances and struggles. I had to see that I was smart, funny, creative, that I loved people and that in essence there was so much more to me than the size of my body. I was persistent, hard-working, determined and so many other things that I did not notice for the first 29 years of my life, when I thought that I was defined by the size of my body.
I had to realize that the people in my life who treated me poorly treated me poorly whether I was thin or fat, and that no matter how much I altered my body or myself for those people they would continue to treat me poorly as long as I allowed them to. Realizing this helped me to stop worrying about what other people thought about the size of my body. I started to think of my body size as being nobody else's business. In fact, I even decided my body size is none of my business, as long as I am exercising in a reasonable amount, and eating according to my true physical hunger (not emotional hunger) and stopping when I am physically full or just before.
I also decided to stop hating my individual body parts, such as flabby arms, a big stomach, or thick thighs. I decided to focus on the fact that my body and its parts carried me through my life, through the thick and the thin times in my life. I started to think of my stomach as the part of my body that digests the food that keeps me alive. I started to think of my thighs as part of the legs that help me stand, run, dance and walk. I started to think of my arms as the part of my body that allows me to hug people, carry my baby daughter, cook, write, bake, decorate etc. The more I started to think of my body as being more important than how it looked I started giving up all the "FAT TALK AND THE PUTTING MYSELF DOWN," and little by little I stopped hating my body. It was work, but it has been well worth it, and the more I do it the more natural it becomes.
Most importantly, the more I stop hating my body, the more the size of my life increases, as I have time to think about other things than obsessing about and hating the size of my body.
Have a large sized-day and a large-sized life!
If you're struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.