1. I Developed Depression & Anxiety
At 3am I sat on the toilet holding onto the tissue holder for fear I might faint. It was hard to breath. I didn’t know flood waters were engulfing our home. Our fears were confirmed mid morning. I gathered a small army via facebook to help my husband clean up. Shock and survival mode carried me through for a week then the anxiety started followed closely by depression. I was at my wit’s end with a 2.5 month old baby and 15 month old twins in a small apartment at the top of a cliff over an hour from our unliveable home. I had less help than ever. The depression deepened as the disappointments endured.
2. We Abandoned Our Schedule
With 3 babies under 18 months organization was essential. Shelves were labelled. I had fortuitously filled a freezer with 3 months worth of meals. Our twins schedule was highly regimented and worked well even with the arrival of William 15 months after the twins’ birth. One day we had the perfectly organised home but the new reality was chaos.
3. I Was Humbled
As a fiercely independent person this was the first time I really needed help. The clean up was performed by selfless friends, family and even complete strangers which lifted our spirits. Temporarily. Alone, over an hour from my home, my struggle continued as the disappointments flooded in.
4. I Stopped Buying For Tomorrow
The day after the flood I stood heartbroken in the supermarket looking at laundry detergent and burst into tears. Our flooded home was overstocked with supplies - at least $200 worth of detergent destroyed overnight. Not to mention boxes of nappies and everything else. I stopped buying in bulk and only buy for today.
We replaced our wooden furniture with plastic because plastic can’t get water damaged.
5. I Realized Things Don’t Make Us Happy
A glass salad bowl which was my favourite wedding gift was salvaged and I was excited about its return and incredibly deflated when I saw a big chip in its rim. Like an emotional rollercoaster every pain was exaggerated. Every disappointment seemed to darken the cloud hanging over my head leading me deeper into depression.
My husband gleaned pleasure from the last clean and undamaged possession he owned. His car. Until someone drove straight into the front of it. So we were 67 miles from home whilst my husband worked and project managed the rebuild of the house without his car.
The universe was sending a clear message. We no longer place much value on “things” since with the blink of an eye they can be broken, stolen or destroyed.
6. I Try Not to Assume Anything About Anybody
I needed a storage container. “That’s not for sale – it’s for display” the Lifeline shop volunteer said before turning on her heel. Was it my shoes or my car that gave her the impression that I didn't just lose my home and get displaced with 3 tots? That charitable bitch wiped out any hope I had been clinging to. My depression deepened.
7. Nobody is Coming to the Rescue
My husband waited hopefully in the searing summer heat for over an hour when the insurance assessor finally greeted him with “I hope you don’t think you’re getting any insurance on this”.
The house call doctor couldn’t understand why I needed help and refused to treat me.
I called the curtain company with a toddler cacophony in the background. “We’re not assisting charities”, the owner said. I felt like a beggar but I was her paying customer.
8. I Grew a Library of Rich Books
If there was one gift that came out of the flood it is this. I built a huge library of life enriching books. It all started the day after the flood as I had $5 in my pocket. Feeling sad because our kids Christmas presents were lost I went to an opportunity shop and bought toddler picture books. This habit grew and I ended up buying more books than I will ever read. See my article “Bargain Books: A Cheapskate’s Guide to Growing a Rich Library”. Reading has enriched my life beyond measure.
9. I had A Spiritual Awakening
The year post flood I was cocooned like a prisoner in my home due to limited funds and 3 tots. This wasn’t so different from before the flood except that prior I aimlessly squandered my time in the shopping mall. After the flood I gardened, read and listened to podcasts. The world opened up.
In December 2011 – 11 months after the flood, Tony Lee Williams, a much loved, handsome and talented Gold Coast nightclub singer from the group “Sex & Chocolate” was savagely murdered. The group played at our wedding and I knew Tony to be a gentle, happy go lucky guy whose performances brought joy to thousands. I was deeply saddened for his loved ones as this was such a shocking, unjust and tragic waste of life. Several months later the playful spirit of Tony visited me. This intrigued me. Why did he visit me? Did he visit others? Was I the only one who noticed? How was his spirit so perceptible? 5 years after his unfortunate passing I finally discovered in “Mystic’s Musings” by Sadhguru that those whose lives have been cut short like this may have a vibrant pranic body which makes their energy easy to sense. I hope he has found peace now.
10. I Meditate
Meditation helped with my anxiety and benefits me in countless ways.
11. I Rarely Sweat the Small Stuff
Prior to the flood I cried over my husband put something in the sink which I used solely to clean baby bottles. After the great cleansing flood and since meditating I simply step over such things.
12. I Got Bold
Since the flood and my personal growth journey I take advantage of opportunities that I probably previously wouldn’t have had the courage or inclination to. Just this last year:
- I emailed Arianna Huffington and she accepted me as a contributor to Huffington Post. Now I’m a writer!
- I was the one in 2000 conference delegates to approach another media magnate, Lachlan Murdoch, and get a photo with him.
- I’ve been on talk back radio.
- I was featured on the cover of a trade journal.
Summary
Paradoxically, the flood was by far the most challenging yet one of the greatest blessings of my life. It took its toll emotionally, psychologically and financially but cleansed me. The flood was like a slingshot that violently dragged me backwards against my will out of my sleepy comfy coma and catapulted me towards something much greater. I woke up.
Have you ever received a badly wrapped gift?
This article was originally published on kristavandersharp.com and is republished here with permission.