BUYER BEWARE
LOSER: A MAN THAT LACKS CHARACTER, INTEGRITY, OR AMBITION...YOU WANT TO AVOID HIM AT ALL COSTS.
"He seemed great. I just don't get it. What a loser!" We've all sat around at brunch with our girlfriends psychoanalyzing our last relationship. We tend to act surprised when our latest love interest proves to disappoint us. As women we are nurturers by nature. We want to see the best in our potential partner however it's to their credit and our chagrin. If we would only pay attention to the early warning signs, we may have avoided heartbreak all together. For instance, your first date is an interview. Sure, there maybe wine, candlelight, and some Al Green serenading you but take away all of the romantic ambiance and you have two people exchanging in a Q&A for a few hours. During an interview, you never reveal your true self instead you show your best self. Why would you want a perspective boyfriend to know about your ex or that fling you had over the summer? Well, the same can be said for him. He will only place his best foot forward. Therefore, you have to pay close attention to not only what he is saying but also how he handles himself. Remember, losers are not as easy to spot, as you would think. The word loser usually conjures the image of a man in his mid to late 30s jobless, living in his mom's basement playing video games. If only it was that easy to define a loser. A loser can be charming, polite, cultured, and even successful. It is of extreme importance you see the signs that he could be a loser on the first date. The reason I stress the first date is simple. When you go shopping for a little black dress, you browse the department store. You go rack to rack until something appeals to you. Once you find a dress, you try it on to see if it fits; if it doesn't you leave it behind in the dressing room. Now what happened if you just bought the dress without trying it on? Well, it would be a hassle to get in your car, go back to the store, and return it, not to mention time consuming. Our first option to try on the dress then buy makes the most sense. The same is said for dating. If you notice your date could be a loser, then stop dating him before you invest your energy and time in a second date.
First Date Fiasco
It's Saturday night. He picks you up at your place. He's dressed impeccably and smells fantastic. He opens the car door; you smile impressed by the courteous gesture. On the drive to the restaurant, he tells you about his day. You wait for your moment to interject about your hectic day at work, your latest project, and how you adopted a puppy last week but hence you never get a word in. For the rest of evening, he pollutes your ears with his life, his job, his family, his goals, and his needs. Miss, sorry to break the news but your first date is your last date. He is your Mr. Wrong and a sure fire LOSER.
Hi and Goodbye
Certain things in life should be hard like solving world hunger, finding the cure for cancer, or resolving the Middle East Conflict but dating is not one of them. Dating should be fun, enjoyable, and painless. If your date exhibits the following behaviors, he should not be awarded with your company again:
·He only talks about himself and shows little to no interest in your life
·He brings up women he used to date and tells you how attractive they were
·He refers to his ex as psycho, crazy, or insane
·He is rude to the waiter
·He tells you how much money he makes and how important his job is
·He keeps trying to gage if you'll sleep with him
The above signs are tell tale indicators your date is a loser. Maybe you're thinking it's unfair to judge someone so quickly, perhaps he was nervous or overcompensating, or intimidated or, or, or... STOP! He is revealing his hand of cards to you. You're not misinterpreting him. Do not try to understand his motivations for acting like a jerk. Ladies, we have a tendency to empathize with others too much. We want to identify the reasons why he behaved poorly at dinner. Yet, why do we spend so much time focusing on him? Think about all the time you spent understanding and unraveling the mysterious behaviors of your ex, you certainly could have gotten your master's degree in him. Bottom line, if he acts like a loser, sounds like a loser, drum roll please...then he is a loser. Do not make excuses for him in order to have company on a Saturday night.