When you are speaking with a girl or meet a young girl for the first time....How do you greet her?
I remember when I was growing up, I noticed this all around me; well-meaning adults saying hello to a young girl and the first thing that would pop out of their mouths would be "You're so pretty" or "How cute are you?". I am for sure guilty of this myself. It seems natural to say something that you yourself have heard others say a million times.
I'm inviting us all to break to cycle of "You're so pretty".
We really need to check ourselves and become aware of how our words and our actions may be shaping the young girls in our lives.
Consistently focusing on a girl's outer appearance instead of her inner intelligence can be SO detrimental. Making her looks a primary focus creates unhealthy and unreasonable expectations of herself - for herself. It invites her to put all of her energy into improving her outer beauty rather than expanding her mind.
Alternative ways of acknowledging a young girl could be by saying: “you’re so strong”, “you’re so brilliant”, “you’re so kind”. You could also ask them a question like "What's new and good?" or “Have you read any cool books lately?”-- There are so many thought provoking questions you could ask that would set you both up for an inspiring and intelligent conversation.
If you do want to compliment her outer appearance, find ways to highlight her natural beauty as it relates to her whole self so that you are not necessarily focusing on the features but rather on the person who possesses them. An example could be: I love the way you face lights up when you smile.”
Children look up to the adults around them to set the tone and model for them what is important and what is real. Let’s all commit to getting mindful about the messages that our comments and our questions are bringing forth in our future generation of women.
Let’s drop the “You’re so pretty”.
I love hearing from you -- What are some other positive statements you could use to compliment a girl's inner light?
Melody Pourmoradi is a Women’s Life & Wellness Coach. She thrives on supporting women to nourish themselves mind, body & soul to become the best version of themselves. She currently lives in NY with her husband and her beloved twin daughters. In her newest passion project, she has created GiRLiFE, a series of girl empowerment workshops for mothers, coaches and others who are on a mission of empowering young girls to live a life of happiness, peace & success. For more information on how you can step up and empower the young girls in your community visit GiRLiFE here.
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