"I never intended on doing this for a living, you know what they say right? That which does not kill us makes us stronger..." says Lyric. Lyric, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, is getting fitted with 3 perukes today as she opens her PayPal app. Noting her client fee has been paid for tonight's session, she then posts to Instagram "Getting ready, can you guess who I am tonight? As always, I'll be posting my story after this weekend! And remember, be good and if you decide to be bad, be really bad!" Lyric says blowing a kiss. "This session will be the first time I pretend to be a reality star, nine times out of ten they request for me to be a Top 10 singer or movie star which is far more difficult than who I'm pretending to be tonight because I have to do intense research! But lucky for me, the reality star I'm pretending to be is a media whore, posts EVERYTHING she does so she's the easiest by far to emulate. Even though I don't know what she's like personally or what she's like in bed, I just have to look and talk as much like her as possible for him to pretend he's on a date with her. All my clients know this is just pretend, they know I'm not the real deal we're just role playing" says Lyric shrugging her shoulders.
This is Lyric, a Master Star Fu*ker Fetish Provider and impersonator who this weekend will be satiating one man's fantasy to be sexually intimate with a well-known reality star by pretending to be that celebrity. A reality star who would not look twice at this man, but a man with enough money to pay Lyric to do more than glance in his direction.
"I was married to a Star Fu*ker for 6 years, that's how all this got started. EVERY DAY he was obsessed with someone different! E News, TMZ along with every social media outlet that exists were his best friends! You name it and he was plugged into it 24-7!" Lyric says "It never mattered how thin I was, how long my hair was or for that matter, how sexy I tried to be. I simply wasn't good enough for him" she says. Lyric also says that "the only thing that ever made him happy was for me to pretend to be WHO he was infatuated with at that particular moment" emphasizing that those around him, family included, knew this man as someone who was obsessed with a wife who did not appreciate him and was a taker more than she was a giver. Something different than what the truth really was, HE was the Ring Master for whom Lyric jumped through hoops for. Because she was afraid of losing her husband and failing at her marriage.
Afraid of losing her husband? He told people she was something she wasn't? When she met him, did she know he was a sociopath and WHY didn't she leave him a long time ago? Trying to control myself but not being able to, my questions still charge out of my mouth like bees leaving a nest. I stop and Lyric accepts my apology saying that it started small with her husband wanting her to wear wigs, then costumes then asking her to do things in the bedroom that he secretly recorded. Then threatened to show her family and friends the videos if she didn't continue. She was afraid. Feeling bad about my rapid fire emotion, I sit back and decide that her story needs to be told as only she can tell it without interruption.
"I like this blond on me! I'll wear this one tomorrow" says Lyric pointing out that the celebrity she is impersonating has been known to wear blond wigs.
She says that the relationship crumbled one night while at dinner with Josh, her then husband and his co-workers. "He had been obsessing over this Trans personality and wanted me to perfect her way of talking in a Spanish accent and I hadn't been able to capture it. So he stopped talking to me, it was always his way of punishing me, telling me I didn't deserve his attention. But we were still going to this dinner that night and he demanded that I dress as his obsession. One of his coworkers asked if I had gotten extensions or dyed my hair, I said no, I was just trying a different look. She said "your sex life must be VERY interesting!" I said yes it is. For Him. Not for me, I never get to be me and he ALWAYS gets to be HIMSELF. Which by the way, it's nothing to write home about." Lyric says "It was exhausting walking on egg shells every day and thinking of new ways to keep him entertained! And if I didn't, he'd throw me out!"
"It's who he is."
Not able to fathom WHAT made Josh worthy and also WHAT could he have possibly been providing for Lyric that she jumped through hoops for him, I continue my questions. Who gave him the RIGHT to DICTATE to HER what he wanted in the bedroom and not only that, threatening to throw her out? Didn't SHE EVER have any requests and WHY didn't she throw him out for his bad behavior? "Not enough" she answers my first question and "I did, I gave him the right and I never should have. Before I knew it, he had gotten out of control" was the answer to my second question saying fear is what kept her from throwing him out. "There are so many women like me who lose themselves when they are in a relationship. I became his property and my job was to keep him happy. And if he wasn't, that would send me into a frantic mess. Finally left."
And that's when she started to get paid for her skillset as a Master Star Fu*ker Fetish Provider. Discovering an audience of willing participants via her website detailing all 50 accomplished impersonations and fulfilling wet dreams all over the US before she knew it. And in charge of WHO she was from that moment on.
Lyric says that she got all 200 wigs in the settlement, her money makers and with a ready skillset making her a highly sought after fetish for, who knew? People who fantasize about what it's like to have sex with a celebrity, or someone who looks like their fantasy, for the right amount of money of course would be the way for her to finally get her Bachelors in Communication.
What does the future hold for her I wonder? "I'm single, taking care of just myself and I have somewhere to go, wherever I am is home. I'll never be so dependent on someone that I'll allow them to control their happiness through the dog and pony show I provide. Screw that!"
Getting out of a black SUV in front of "The Point" located in the Adirondaks where 5 out of the 11 rooms have been reserved for her by this weekend's client, Lyric says that she is most excited about the survey she filled out a few weeks back. A survey in which anything and everything SHE desires will be catered to her upon her request.
You do you Lyric and I say anyone that THAT'S not good enough for doesn't deserve you! Oh and Lyric, can I borrow that blond wig when you're done with it? I hear blonds have more fun and I'd like to research that...just thought I'd ask.