Aretha Franklin, “The Queen of Soul” knew what she was talking about when she belted out that iconic phrase “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” fifty-years ago. Franklin had shared with us the “secret-sauce” in how to create a successful relationship. Of course, one’s definition of a successful relationship differs from couple to couple. However, one could argue that whatever our definition, one simple ingredient remains paramount: mutual respect.
Self-Respect: Permitting Ourselves and Our Partner to Take Alone Time
Whether introverts, extroverts, or ambiverts, having alone time in a relationship or marriage, is essential. Giving ourselves permission to enter this sacred space cultivates our own body and mind homeostasis, as well as that of those around us. It lets us recharge. Being alone with our raw emotions, thoughts, and feelings without outside interference allows for ultimate self-reflection. Whether we choose to use our personal time to either puzzle or have a night out with friends, is essentially irrelevant. What matters is that we recognize that we have a life outside of our relationship and it is essential that we remember to develop it.
Nurturing Meals: Feeding Our Body and Relationship
At least one recent survey suggests couples who cook together have a stronger relationship. While some couple’s go-to meal preparation might be throwing items into a slow-cooker for the day, a perfectly reasonable decision in today’s go-go world, the benefits of cooking together should be noted. Preparing meals together encourages us to take a step back with our partner and relish life’s all-around beauty. In short, it promotes collaboration, active listening, and likely a sprinkle of compromise, three essential elements of a strong, successful relationship. Dicing vegetables, onions, and making a gluten-free meatloaf, for example, promotes healthy nutrition and wellbeing, as well as facilitates deeper conversation. And if a couple favors dicing more veggies or fruits, more power to them. What cannot be overstated, however, is that this time is without smartphones and distractions, which ultimately promotes all-around connection and sharing on a deeper and more intimate level.
Sexual Urges: Honoring Our Sexual Desires and Those of Our Partner
Humans have natural sexual urges and we certainly act on said urges when in a relationship. But it is important to respect both our desire and that of our partner. In short, no matter what our relationship, we should be comfortable asking for what we desire and be open to trying new things in the bedroom. However, in opening ourselves up to such vulnerability, we should recognize that our partner trusts us with their innermost sexual desires, and that we should respect our partner by keeping said desires between us. Moreover, a successful couple understands that our sexual desires might differ from our partner. And that’s okay. It’s important that we are accepting of each other’s sexual desires.
Wordplay: Uplift, Acknowledge, and Empower
Words carry a certain weight in relationships. We can use them to hurl hurtful comments. But we can also choose to uplift, acknowledge, and empower our relationship from the inside out. The latter is the option most successful relationships choose. And when we acknowledge our positive contributions to the relationship and those of our partner, we tend to remember why we are in this amazing relationship. Engage in some wordplay and feel the difference.
Respect takes many forms within a successful relationship. But we alone hold the power to make decisions which better ourselves and our relationship. And our choice, whatever it is, should be respected.
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